January 1st, 1985
- First episode of Prime Time ever.
- Funky 80s music with stark, no very stark, blue screen and titles, featuring some "no frills" looking wrestling from the likes of the Iron Sheik and Hogan.
- Your hosts are not Gorilla Monsooon and Bobby Heenan, but Jack Reynolds and, my favourite, Jesse Ventura. Jesse is wearing a leather jacket, shades and a beret. Reynolds looks like he was dug up from the same place Vince got that old time band on TNT. "Pleasure to be here, the pleasure's yours and for all the people out there on the USA Network". Jesse tells us that TNT will now be on Fridays. Doesn't it stand for "Tuesday Night Titans"? Bizarre. Hating the mild-mannered and charisma-less Jack Reynolds, bringing nothing to the table so far. They talk about Ventura's blood clots in 84. Jesse says he's coming back, I don't believe him. Dr. D David Schultz is going to be taking on Salvatore Bellomo. Can't wait. Reynolds and Ventura are an awkward pairing.
- Monsoon is commentating on the Schultz match with Gene Okerlund. Schultz gives Bellomo a knee to the gut and Mean Gene says, "That'll jar your mother's preserves". What sort of saying is that?! Elbow from the top from Schultz and Bellomo KICKS OUT! What the hell?! Hasn't Bellomo read the jobber's manual. Schultz gives him a suplex for that, "well executed", says Gorilla. It's probably one of the worst suplexes I've ever seen. That's it for the 3. Gene and Monsoon rail on the ref for a slow count. Howard Finkel looks thin and weedy. - Ventura is definitely not his usual smooth self here. Dare I say he's even a little green in this role, stumbling on his words a bit, and a bit stiff in front of the camera. They are talking about Murdoch and Adonis. Reynolds is like a piece of actual cardboard. Murdoch is going to be taking on Somoan #1, Afa. Ventura says that he doesn't think the Somoans should be allowed in wrestling because "neither one of them can read or write ... all they've got is a hard skull". All Reynolds has to come back with is "Jesse, the Somoans have done very well in professional wrestling". So what? They can't read or write?
- Murdoch taking on Afa now at MSG and we get some turnbuckle spots. Both men have significant poundage around their waists. Murdoch stupidly tries to headbutt Afa. Gene buries him: "what a feeble attempt by Murdoch". Action goes to the outside and Murdoch uses a cable to choke Afa. Nice viscousness from Murdoch. He stays on top for a few mins before inexplicably going for the head again. Okerlund is having kittens. He and Monsoon might be the most openly critical commentary team in history. Afa has a series of pin attemps which are broken by a foot on the rope. Gene: "c'mon, give me a break, I've got to question the thought process of the Samoan".Murdoch's selling is a bit cartoonish. He nails Afa with a jug of whiskey! Gene and Gorilla are back on the ref's case. Afa smacks Murdoch in the kisser and he checks to see if his tooth has come out. Can't tell if that's legit, but if not that's a cool spot. Time limit draw. Disappointing finish to a pretty good match. Murdoch was excellent here. Murdoch requests another 5 mins. Afa cleans his clock.
- Some really shitty arguing between Jesse and Reynolds now. This Reynolds has to go, he's crap. Mad Dog Vachon vs Rick McGraw comin up.
- Interview with Maddog now. His beard doesn't look real. He says "people come here to make a name for themselves, but my name is already a legend in wrestling" Nice line. Match vs McGraw now. Vachon is billed from Algeria. Straight into a headlock here. Mean Gene tells a joke that I simply do not get: "Matter of fact, I lost my dog the other day", "the one that was sick?" "Came in the house for a drink and the lid fell on his head." Gorilla cracks up. There's something I'm not seeing there. I know Monsoon is deeply unpopular round these parts and Gene is bringing out the worst in him, but I kinda like their schtick here. They come across as two mates who are watching sports together and what they say just happens to be recorded. It's quite natural and has an "easy feel" to it. The fact that they are burying and criticising guys all the time, scarcely matters really. You just have to shift your mind from the ideal of a Solie or Jim Ross who is a professional guy who calls the action, to this weird sort of "armchair fan's running commentary" thing that Monsoon and Okerlund are doing here. If you see it that way, harping on the ref or being critical "adds realism". You could say their job is to get the action over, or the wrestlers over, or you could say is their job is to "be the voice of the fan at home" and keep things entertaining. On this evidence I'm veering towards the latter. Monsoon mentions that McGraw had a terrible neck injury and that "he's just not the same, there's something missing there". Having looked this up, I understand the subtext of that comment. Piledriver from Vachon and it's over. Okerlund calls for the piledriver to be banned. - Reynolds: "I'll tell ya, you can't beat the crafty veterans". No one would ever say that. Hate Jack Reynolds. Ventura is still quite stiff. They are now talking about a "fast rising star", David Sammartino. Oh boy. Ventura buries him: "No way Jack! Let me tell ya something, this little ... beer-bellied punk is doing nothing but ride on the coattails of his daddy do Bruno" "I don't agree with you at all" "Well I don't care if you agree with me, I know". Glimours of the Jesse we all know and love here, but Reynolds is so fucking unnatural and fake.
- David Sammartino now. Bit harsh of Jesse to call him beer-bellied, ha ha. Limited charisma, but no less than any other generic white meat babyface of this era. - Ventura accuses Bruno of retiring out of cowardice just before he joined the WWF in 1981. lol got to love that. - David Sammartino is taking on the WWF's answer to the Boogie Woogie Man Jimmy Valiant, Moondog Spot. GENE HACKMAN is in the crowd. Wow. Mean Gene and Gorilla talk about how Monsoon used to be over 400lbs and Gene asks him how his diet is going. I pretty much hate everything David Sammatino is doing here. Moondog hits him, he says "come on!", and again, and again, and again. What the fuck is this? Both Okerlund and Moonson think it's "obvious" that Sammartino is going to go a long way in this sport. Moondog Spot looks like an actual tramp they found begging outside MSG and paid to be in the ring. He's actually pretty good and controls this match well. Nice backbreaker. David Sammartino's no-selling and saying "come on!" routine is getting old very fast. I'm actively cheering for Moondog Spot here. Sammartino is a total cock. He knocks Moondog down and then shouts "GET UP!". Really seems like he's working heel to me. Nice standing vertical suplex from David Sammartino, I'm mildly impressed. He reverses a pinfall attempt into a small package for the three. Can't see any future for this young man at all. Post-match Moondog beats on him, good. Crowd really gets behind David when he grabs Spot's bone. - The ongoing argument between Ventura and Reynolds is painful, mainly because of Reynolds. Tito Santana vs. Greg Valentine coming up. Ventura immediately starts with the "Chico" stuff. "Believe it or not he used to be the Intercontinental champion, and that's a big big jump from when he used to be selling tacos out in Tijuana". Reynolds no sells this. - Tito is with Monsoon. He looks pissed off. He's been injured but wants a piece of Valentine. Too bland this promo for me, expected more fire.
- The big fat sloppy pig Lou Alabano is out, he's Greg Valentine's manager. Does this mean his face turn was just 3 days later or was this a show from a while back? Anyway, crowd is hot for Santana. And he's fired up. Attacks Valentine immediately and nails Valentine with some nice shots. Rams Valentine's head into the mat. 7 punches to the face. Some great forearms from Tito. Albano is bugging the commentary team, Gene: "come on stay off of my case will ya". Santana is like a man possessed here, trying to tear Valentine's face off. Nice atomic drop from Valentine. He target's Tito's injured leg. Throws him outside for the cheapshot from Albano. Action continues outside for a brawl. Valentine misses a chairshot. Santana nails Valentine with the chair. DQ?! Santana continues to nail Valentine in the face. Valentine has colour! Santana throws ref down. DQ???!!! Yes. Santana keeps nailing Valentine in the fact. He's so fucking pissed off here. This is awesome! Nails Albano. The heels run off. Tito is so fired up, roof of MSG sounds like it's going to come off.
- Less said about Jack Reynolds the better, he sucks, fire him already Vince. Ventura calls Santana "a disgrace to his family" for flagrant rulebreaking. - Sika against Adrian Adonis now. Monsoon calls the 298lb that Sika is billed at "highly unlikely". I'm inclined to agree looks about 315. Adonis is wearing an NY jacket. Weird how he'd be the heel here. Adonis has a body like a barrell at this point. I'm thinking that this match can only end in a draw after the Afa / Murdoch match earlier. I like Adonis, he's light on his feet, he moves welll, he sells well. Ref takes a bump and calls for a DQ immediately. Oh, win for Sika. Shows what I know.
- Ventura says Adonis hasn't lost a thing since his days teaming with him in the East-West Coast Connection. Another break now. Tony Garea vs. Brutus Beefcake coming up. Ventura likes Beefcake but says he needs to "get his strut down a little more".
- Beefcake hails from the infamous "parts unknown" here and is managed by Lucious Johnny Valiant. Tony Garea is hailing from the mid 1970s if his jacket and haircut are anything to go by. Okerlund: "Parts Unkown alright, I've got a pretty good idea where this guy is from". Ha ha ha. Beefcake is in his Zodiac zebra stripes here. He does a lot of strutting. Some good heeling from Beefer. Lucious Johnny has stepped right out of a Ron Jeremy film, awesome tache. Gerea does a lot of running back and forth before Beefcake gets the three after a three. Not a bad match considering Beefcake was involved. - Ventura says that if he hadn't have gotten sick, he'd have been the champ "not chump Hogan". After the break he's facing Big John Studd to defend the world title! Plot point is that Studd has been calling himself "a giant". Hogan is in the white trunks here. Okerlund: "now why is it that these fans insist on calling Mr. Heenan a weasal?" Ha ha. Crowd is wild for Hogan. Studd is really quite a big guy isn't he. So what does he do? A chinlock. One of those really loose, fake looking ones too. Heenan is giving signals to Studd. Shows him nine fingers. The commentators speculate as to what that could mean. Studd drops Hogan across the ropes on this throat. Action goes outside and a fan is jawing Studd and pointing angrily. I count a total of 16 moustaches in this section of the crowd. 1985 man. Hogan taking a pasting from Studd here. Starts his comeback now, Hulking up. Feels a bit early. Unloads the right hands. Ropes. Elbow! Not the big boot? Lariat! And that's enough for the three. No leg drop? Well done Rip.
- Ventura is speechless before the break and after it freaks out and storms out. Reynolds wraps up alone. - Unexpected good wrestling on this show, which was more like an MSG supercard. Murdoch looked great and one of the best performances from Tito I've ever seen. Wow. And Hogan vs. Studd was a nice big-time feeling MSG match for the main event too.