Superstar Sleeze

Impact World Heavyweight Champion Brian Cage vs Michael Elgin - Impact Slammiversary 2019 This will be the last Impact match I review as I have completed all the noteworthy matches from TNA/Impact which feels like a pretty crazy thing to say. I am looking forward to get back to Japan and especially get back to the 80s. I havent decided yet if I am going to do New Japan or All Japan. TNA/Impact was a good change of pace, but more often than not it feels a tad bit soulless or digestible. This match albeit very good is a good example of an "in one ear out the other" match. Where the moves impressive? Hell Yeah. Am I going to remember them? Hell No. The match ended 2 minutes ago and I am struggling to remember what happened and in what sequence, which is never a good sign. I feel like I always like the beginning of these matches way more than the finish. I liked the energy a lot of Cage's shine. The big dive over the top was a perfect climax. The transition to Elgin's heat segment on the back was wicked weak. That being said Elgin did a great job targeting the back with suplexes/slams while Cage sold the hell of it. The thing is these matches could go in interesting directions from there especially since they laid down a good foundation, but they never do. It is just bomb-throwing that is completely inconsequential. The one nice thing about Shawn Michaels being an active performer in WWE was it prohibited people hitting a zillion superkicks with no consequences. This was just just egregious all these strikes that meant nothing. I like Powerbombs a lot so the Powerbombs were good. Elgin's Backlund-esque Powerbomb was cool. Cage drilled Elgin with a Powerbomb at one point. The Canadian Destroyer was fine. The setup was silly but it was so sudden that I enjoyed. The finish was nonsensical with Cage getting thrown around like a ragdoll only to counter a Powerbomb attempt into a finish. The heel slipping on the banana in a hoss fight is silly. I know I seem down on the match, but I did enjoy it. I just dont like writing about MOVEZ~! This is a very MOVEZ~! heavy match. It was enjoyable while watching, but not very interesting to analyze. ***1/2

Impact World Tag Team Champions Pentagon Jr & Fenix vs LAX (Santana & Ortiz) - Impact Rebellion 2019 TLC (Full Metal Mayhem) The only nice thing I have to say is that it was cool to see a tag team match main event a pay per view. I think we have come a long with women, plenty of work to do but the fact that Women have main evented WrestleMania, it would be nice to see more love paid attention to tag teams. This was a full Feng Shui borefest. They really should rename these type of matches to Interior Decorating matches. The first two matches were way better. The video package gave me hope we were going to see a violent match because Pentagon/Fenix disrespected Konnan and Konnan told LAX to go hard, but nothing happened. LAX dove onto Lucha Brothers at first but they totally squandered the babyface shine. They rearranged some furniture and Pentagon/Fenix dove onto them through the table. This match did nothing for me. At one point, they just stop the match, everyone gets a chair. They sit down and have the most pitiful fighting spirit exchange I have ever seen. Fenix walking the rope and hitting a Spanish Fly through a table on the ramp as the LONE BRIGHT SPOT. That's it. The finish I am pretty sure was a fuck up. Let me set the stage. Tacks on a table. Ladder. Pentagon is positioned to take a back bump from Ladder on Thumbtack Table. Santana opposite side on a higher rung. They are duking it out. Ortiz gets under Pentagon ready for the Powerbomb. Santana uses a fork to jab head of Pentagon. I am pretty sure they were supposed to hit the Street Sweeper off the ladder through the Table with Tacks. You can audibly hear Santana yell "WAIT! WAIT!" as Ortiz powerbombed Pentagon through the table with tacks. A fitting end for a boring match.

Impact World Heavyweight Champion Johnny Impact vs Brian Cage - Impact Rebellion 2019 SGR: Lance Storm This match up got 8 bajillion times better by having Impact turn heel. After one of the worst matches I have seen in a long time at Homecoming, Morrison turned heel and it made this so much more entertaining. In the video package, we see Morrison's wife, Taya, ballshot Cage, Morrison throw his lot in with former Aries' cronies, Killer Kross & Moose and the coup d'grace referee John E. Bravo joined Morrison after chop blocking Cage during a title defense. I love big circus matches and I think they could have leaned into it a little more, but still with Taya & Bravo at ringside there was enough shenanigans to keep me entertain. I know immediately I would like this match way more because they started with a big 'ol shine for Cage with Morrison playing his ragdoll. I love good power wrestling and Morrison was bumping & feeding great. I wish Cage showed a little more charisma and had a little more fun in there. Some recent Samoa Joe shines I have seen is what I am picturing. Cage looked like a man who was so focused on hitting his spots and getting to the next spot, he forgot the most important part which is to have fun! Morrison took over when Cage went to the well once too often for the outside-inside suplex with a nice German suplex. What I loved is that Cage ultimately shrugged it off and just kept coming. Lance Storm, who is the troubleshooting after the recent issues with Bravo, pulls a merciless Cage off Morrison and this allows Morrison to eye poke. Nice. Again, Cage would not be denied. I love it. A babyface should be like the Russians at Stalingrad, always forward, never back! Great job, Cage! The big turning point spot is a Spanish Fly off the ramp to the floor, which was a badass highspot. I wish it was set up better. I think the time was ripe for Bravo/Taya interference or more intense cheating from Morrison. Cage sort of gave up which kinda kills my Russians at Stalingrad analogy. Morrison squashes his head between the railing and knee. This busts Cage wide open. The blood was great as was Morrison relentlessly attacking the wound. Cage gets a hope spot but Morrison keeps rocking the head. Taya/Bravo get greedy and set up a table. I will give you one guess what happens...Cage powerbombs Morrison through the table. Here comes the finish. Taya drags out Lance and Morrison wipes him out. Then Morrison cracks Cage with the title belt. In the ultimate scumbag move, Morrison leaves his wife with the smoking gun of the title belt. She eats a powerbomb. Normally I would bitch about man on woman violence but Impact has a tradition of intergender matches thus is their universe even if I dont agree with it. Morrison is able to take advantage of the distraction and hit a terrible Starship Pain. Aries is right that move sucks. I love Morrison as a wrestler but get a new finish, bro. John E. Bravo has a ref shirt but Cage still kicks out at 2. Lance Storm superkicks Bravo and Cage hits a terrible Drillclaw to win the championship. A debuting Michael Elgin punks out the new champion with a spinning backfist and a simple powerbomb. Anti-climatic. I will watch their Slammiversary match soon. I loved the layout, but it didnt quite have the zip I wanted. This is a perfect example of the fact that a great layout is not enough, you need great execution too, I thought the execution didnt quite have the energy/charisma that I wanted. Still a big step up from January. ***1/2

Impact X-Division Champion Rich Swann vs Johnny Impact - Impact Slammiversary 2019 John Matthews declared it a ***** classic, Don Callis tells him stop being conservative that was ******* brutha. Um, ok guys. There was actually a lot to love in this match even if the commentary was being hyperbolic. The reason to love this match was Morrison was committed to playing an old school cheating heel. Morrison has a stooge named Johnny Bravo. Hold on, one second, Momma, I thought Johnny Bravo was a cartoon, yeah this is some referee turned lackey. He threw streamers at Morrison as if he was coming out at the Budokan for All Japan, which I loved. He polished Morrison's abs mid-match. It was good craic. Swann was getting the best of Morrison so Bravo had an idea. He threw in a fistful of tacks from the last match into the ring. This forced the ref to have to clean up the mess. Morrison cracked Swann and then crotched him on the top rope. Then he raked his balls across the top rope. I loved. Some really great king of the mountain shit from Morrison, good trash talk. Just a really good arrogant heat segment. Swann has a terrific punch, which I am a sucker for. I really enjoyed the initial comeback which saw Swann perform some really breath-taking acrobatics. See when the heel has established a strong, grinding heel heat segment. It makes the athletic stuff from Swann POP rather just be buried in interminable workrate sequences. Morrison drags his ass to get in better position for an Elbow Drop. What the fuck? Can the camera at least not catch this shit so it doesnt sour me on the match? Ugh so lame. They fight over a Spanish Fly and both fall off the top rope. Not a huge fan of the Spanish Fly. Morrison hits a Double Spanish Fly for a nearfall. Swann wipes out Bravo with a dive. Morrison catches with a Tidal Wave Kick, really nice set up on that. Starship Pain, 1-2-NO! Great nearfall! Swann BLITZES him with a zillion strikes, two Cutters, Phoenix Splash 1-2-3! Fuck yeah! That's how you efficiently and robustly finish a match. Loved Morrison/Bravo's heel work. Swann is the perfect uptempo babyface and really excels when he has a good heel to play off of. They lost me for a bit with all the Spanish Fly. The finish was red-hot! Sorry Josh, not *****, but still worth your time. ***3/4

Impact World Champion Brian Cage vs Sami Callihan - Impact 10/29/19 Steel Cage This was Impact's debut on AXS after spending five years in TV Purgatory of Destination America, Pop TV and Pursuit. I still cant believe Impact lasted long enough to see this day but good on them. Their 2018/2019 run was definitely fun & entertaining and they deserved to be rewarded. Very smart booking to take your top two stars and featured them in World Heavyweight Title Defense in a Steel Cage. It is so refreshing that their roster is so fresh and so new. I remember liking their Bound for Glory match well enough. Loved the start, Callihan enters the cage first and as Cage is about to, Callihan dropkicks the door in his face. I love how Cage REGISTERS and then commences to whuppin' ass. Callihan has piledriven his wife and threatened his daughter. Let the ass kicking begin! Callihan is able to get away and he locks himself in the cage because he is scared of Cage. Cage scales the Cage quickly and the way he leaps down, it was very cool, badass, felt like superhero. I think they should have let the shine continue for longer because there was more heat to be had. Cage is overzealous and when Callihan sidesteps him he goes into the cage. Baseball bat shot. Cage blades and it is a pretty good one. Effective heat segment for Callihan who is growing one me more and more as one of the better heels of the 2010s. No Cage sidesteps Callihan and he charges into the Cage and it is all even into the ad break. I read my Bound For Glory review after watching the match but before writing this. It reminded me how much I loved the finish, the use of the one count, the Hulk Up and ultimately the win. The one count was used here and again it has heat. Cage needed to dive into it. Instead he waited for Callihan to get up, get in position. It was lame and it squandered a lot of heat. Cage loves the one count and I think a one count can be super effective but you need that follow through. It seems they wanted to protect Cage's finishes because it does not get any major nearfalls. He gets one but nothing major. The way they protected him was showing his resiliency he took four piledrivers total, three of those consecutive and still kicked out. He succumbed to a fifth one coming off the top rope. I actually like this structure. Cage fell behind and was never able to claw himself out. Cage does not look like a choke for not getting done or his finish is not exposed. It is just Callihan took an early lead, Cage was resilient and had hope spots, but couldnt regain the lead. It happens. It all stems originally to him being overzealous and hitting the cage on his own. You can tie it back to Callihan's attacks on Cage's family paying dividends. I enjoyed this as a old school, bloody cage match that features strong babyface/heel dynamics. ***1/2

Impact World Heavyweight Champion Sami Callihan vs Rich Swann - Impact No Surrender 2019 OVE stands for Ohio Versus Everyone. As if I didnt need another reason to hate Sami Callihan, it only stands to reason he is from the Worst State Ever, Ohio! I am a Michigan Alum, Lets Go Blue! O-H F-U! I dont actually hate Callihan. The white trash paramilitary gimmick as long as it used as a heel gimmick I can get behind it because it is a great heat seeking gimmick. I hate spit and it is fucking gross. He is a heel. I think what I like about him the most is that he is a selfless heel. He will stooge, cower and show ass for the babyface. I think there is a lot of 21st Century tropes in his matches and an overreliance on death match extremism but overall I would say I like him. The best Callihan match I have seen thus far was against Swann at Rebellion which was a Street Fight where Swann proved he could be just as violent as Callihan. This is taking place in Callihan's hometown of Dayton, OH. So Swann is in hostile territory. What I loved about this match is how old school it felt in terms of babyface vs heel dynamics. The crowd was super invested. Even though it was split, it was not split in the smarky way it is now. It is because some of the fans were blindly cheering for the hometown boy and others realized Callihan is a prick were not going to root for him. It had a big fight feel. Furthermore, it was wrestled at a normal pro wrestling pace with less reliance on perpetual motion and too choreography. I felt like I was watching an 80s Championship House Show match and I dug that vibe. Callihan was great shining Swann up. Powdering three times after Swann would get the best of him. Swann did three consecutive dives off the apron after the third powder. Callihan always lets the babyface chop him without the vest and he always sells it so well. He is a total chump about it afterwards. Swann had some really damn good punches and elbows in this. The best was when Callihan spit and Swann SLAPPED THE FUCKING TASTE OUT OF HIS MOUTH! It was two absolute CRACKS of a slap! Beautiful! As a person who loves to root against Callihan, I popped for that. I thought Swann oversold the back body drop, but I liked how Callihan pounced with the wrist tape to choke Swann. Good old school heel cheating. Callihan worked a really nice, methodical heat segment on top. Scott D'Amore was really good on commentary mixing wrestling analysis with the storyline. I was impressed. Callihan unleashes the grossest fucking lugi ever on Swann's face. It was stomach-churning. Swann wiped it off and licked it. That was tough to write. Swann mounts a comeback. I liked the finish, very good escalation. Swann had to earn that Phoenix Splash, built to it with a Top Rope Elbow before getting that big nearfall. While for Callihan with the Cactus-style piledriver he was seeking. He hit a piledriver on the apron and then the Cactus Piledriver in the ring for two. It was only after absorbing the Phoenix Splash that he sent the ref into the ropes to crotch Swann on his second attempt. Callihan hit a piledriver off the second rope for the win. Great finish. The Piledriver is one of my favorite moves and it was great to see on display meaningfully. Yes a kickout afte two was a bit much but it ultimately won the match so we call it even and it did put Swann over as a major player. These two just have great chemistry with each other. I love the versatility. This match is totally different than their April Street Fight. I would say it is Pick Em between those two, both are great and recommended! ****

Impact World Tag Team Champions LAX vs Pentagon Jr & Fenix - Impact 2/8/19 Cero Miedo. Cero Psicologia. Cero Estrellas. Above was going to be my entire review, but I ended up liking the finish. Fenix's two suicide dives are the two best I have ever seen, even topping the ones from Homecoming. Move over Austin Aries & Homicide there is a new King in town. I like that they inverted the finish. Santana & Ortiz did the finish stretch that won them the match last time, didnt work. Street Sweeper didnt work. Then they went to multiple Spike Stuffed Piledrivers. That Double Stomp/Piledriver combo is cool. The first 75% of this match was some of the worst wrestling I haver ever seen, but the finish was damn good. The Homecoming match was a much better spotfest.

When you need your faith restored in pro wrestling turn to Sheamus who is our modern day Greg Valentine. Riddle & Sheamus put together a wrestling match thy focused on wrestling and body-on-body contact. Great submission work. Riddle’s transition from the headlock to the double wrist lock was great. This was not loose, lazy work, it was tight and sensible. So many people go through the motions just hitting their spots A, B, C, D but these two wrestled what the spots gave them. No getting in position for the next spot. They worked with what they had. Loved the late back injury to Riddle. Amazing selling! Sheamus hit hard baby! It was a great Riddle fight from underneath for most of the match BUT an even better Sheamus on top performance. I’ve called Sheamus the bastard child of Bret Hart and Greg Valentine before. The Bret Hart comparison is twofold Sheamus has a deep offensive arsenal like Bret but also they are both joys to watch working in control and how they grind. The finish being Riddle’s back giving out and Sheamus POUNCING with the Brogue Kick was the cherry on top of a terrific match! Don’t sleep in this one! ****1/4

Impact World Heavyweight Champion Johnny Impact vs Brian Cage - Impact Homecoming 2019 Brian Cage scooting his ass in the middle of the ring to get in position for a Shining Wizard only to duck to get into the next move IS everything wrong with professional wrestling in the 21st Century. There is a great story about the GOAT, Eddie Van Halen and when he came in to do the solo on "Beat It". He did not just come in and shred. He listening to the song, to the rhythm section. He said if we change the bridge to my solo, I can do this, it will sound better. He took the time to create an organic transition so that his solo would have the most impact. Pro wrestlers SHOULD NOT be moving to get in position for the next spot, the next spot should be done because thats where the fucking pro wrestler is. If you want to get to a specific spot think 2 to 3 moves ahead, play that game of human chess and make it happen. I dont want to see 280lbs, jacked to the gills Brian Cage scooting around like he is a dog wiping his ass after a shit. I am not one for one spot to mar the entire match for me, but I needed to get that off my chest. I should say that Brian Cage is not the only guilty party, pretty much every wrestler in the 2010s is guilty of that shit and it sucks. A lot of wrestlers lament that when the fans stopped believing in kayfabe that wrestling went downhill. I say it was when the wrestlers stopped believing in kayfabe that wrestling shit the bed. I thought the middle stretch of this match sucked out loud. Both guys looked like they were blowed up. It was slow, clunky and dawdling. Neither man seemed to have a clear strategy what they were trying to do. There is this utterly bizarre stretch where Cage roars back and hits a German only for Johnny Impact to hit two Moonlight Drives with zero transition. It was terrible. That German Suplex in the ropes was a farce and even Don Callis had to call it out, but Cage took the Snap Back Bump anyways. Before you know it is Cage with an F-5, in fairness they did at least set that up with a failed attempt at Starship Pain. Before you know it Morrison is back at it. There was no flow. There were long stretches of down time. They were just throwing shit out there. I did like the beginning and I actually had high hopes for the beginning based on the start of the match. I really do enjoy Johnny Impact as a wrestler even if this was a pretty bad performance from him. I liked how he used his evasiveness and feigned strikes to set up big offense against Cage vs Cage's raw power. It was a clever story. It was not power vs speed per se, but Morrison was actually playing the mental game well. That's not something you see to often. The heat segment at the beginning that starts with Cage's sad attempt at a Backlund lift. Can I take a second put over how fucking strong Bob Backlund is? All these boydbuilders show you they do not have the pure strength of The Man Bob Backlund baby, a power wrestler's wrestler. Love you, Bob! The Backlund lift ends pitifully into the buckles. The rest of the heat segment was great. Loved the dual Tilt-a-Whirl backbreakers and the two monkey flips were awesome! So damn good! Somewhere in there I think it was between the Backlund lift and the Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker was the Spot of the Match. Cage single legs Morrison while he is on the ropes. Morrison's head hits the top turnbuckle and he SNAPS into a front belly flop on the mat. AWESOME DOUBLE BUMP! Gnarly! Loved that! I liked the move to transition back to Morrison. Morrison hits this insane somersault, corkscrew knee thing off the top onto the floor that looked awesome. Seriously first 5 minutes of this was killer. The middle was atrocious. The finish was not too much better. They wake me up from my nap when Cage does not even take a one count after a Super Spanish Fly. He HULKS UP! Finally some personality, some testosterone and SOME URGENCY! HELL YEAH! CAGE OBLITERATES MORRISON WITH THREE BRUTAL POWERBOMBS! HELL YEAH! Weapon X is a fucking shitty 21st Century Wrestling Move, BUT AT LEAST IT IS A BIG BOMB! BOMBS AWAY! Terrible transition to Cage going to the floor, a weak Morrison superkick that makes no sense. Morrison's Survivor Castmates are here. Cage gets involved with them. He shoves one. He hits the Drillclaw in the ring but the ref is fiddlefucking with the Survivor fans. Homecoming is Impact Wrestling going back to the Asylum in Nashville. Welp, this is a very TNA finish. The ref makes his way back in for two. Cage goes for the Cesaro suplex from the middle rope and Impact fucks up the counter, who knows and it is three. First five minutes is really good, Cage's Hulk Up is amazing, the middle is shit and the finish is drizzling shits. I get it you need to protect Cage, but it felt like the climax of the match was Cage/Survivor Dudes/2 count. Impact's win just had to exist to get them to the rematch and it was totally tacked on. That's what I mean. Where was the thought put into this? Incredibly disappointing, these two should have had a way better match.

Impact Women's Champion Tessa Blanchard vs Taya Valkyrie - Impact Homecoming 2019 SGR: Gail Kim Gail Kim in that referee outfit...Shawn Michaels eat your heart out...WOW! Impact being a well-booked company actually set up the troubleshooting referee well with Tessa getting two retentions because of a questionable refereeing and the other being her slugging the ref. So we need a badass ref like Gail Kim who can impose her authority and not take shit. I dig. I am glad Taya dropped the Viking Queen aspect of her gimmick and embraced being Wera Loca. I liked this match and was close to loving it, but fell out of love with it by the end. Taya used a Lucha Armdrag very early and after that it was off to the races. A good combination of Lucha Libre/solid kicks made for a fun shine. I liked the double stomp a lot. Tessa powdering was great and I loved how she transitioned to heat where Taya was caught in between the ropes trying to give chase. The best part of the heat segment was on the outside. Tessa let that mean streak out and she hit hard & furious. Good stuff. Back in, we start to see that friction between Kim and Blanchard. Ultimately, the match became a backdrop for the angle, which is disappointing in a way because I had grown fond of Taya and didnt think she deserved to be the third wheel in her big championship victory. Taya uses her power advantage to work her way back into the match big time German Suplex and Northern Lights Suplex. Tessa is a powerhouse in her own right so it is cool to see someone throw her around. Taya's moonsault is very graceful, nice arch, very pretty but in this case she crashes & burns. Now here come the shenanigans. First Gail Kim gets bumped. Tessa hits her finish but Gail isnt around. So Tessa gets the Title Belt presumably to crack Taya. At this point, Gail has arisen from her slumber. They tussle over the championship but Gail Kim as she wrests the belt from Tessa loses control and whacks Taya with it. Ruh roh! Shades of Summerslam 1997?!? Taya kicks out at 2. I think Gail Kim and Tessa brawl breaking out at this point makes more sense. The kickout at 2 didnt have much heat on it. Lots of shoving. Tessa got another nearfall, which I was surprised by again not much heat. Im really glad the quick schoolboy rollup didnt win for Taya that would have been lame. However, it doesnt get much better as Gail Kim hits Eat Defeat and Taya hits Road to Valhalla to win. I think if I was booking. It would be errant belt shot. Brawl for 2 minutes or so, but no clear winner. Taya recovers and hits a setup move and then Road to Valhalla to win. You put over the Gail Kim/Tessa feud, give the people a hot brawl and Taya gets a much better win. I think another reason they didnt get much heat is that Tessa didn't do anything heelish! Yes mean muggin' and aggression arent endearing, but she was not being a coward, overtly violent or a cheat (ok belt shot). I think if Tessa ratchets up the heel heat the finish gets way more over and there is less booing of Taya's victory. They were turning Taya/Morrison heel so I think that's why they didnt protect her more, but still Tessa ratcheting up the heel heat helps her feud with Gail Kim. There was good stuff in this match but the finish was flat when I think it could have been a home run. ***

Impact World Tag Team Champions LAX (Santana & Ortiz) vs Pentagon Jr & Fenix - Impact Homecoming 2019 I was kinda dreading this, but this match was a lot better than I expected. Besides the insanely awesome Street Fight against Best Friends, LAX has been a dud for me in AEW thus far. They need more performances like this. Lots of urgency and excitement. It ensnared me. Pentagon & Fenix I know the drill by now. They could be greatest of all time contenders, but they either dont know any better or they dont care when it comes to psychology. LAX's first offensive run was a thing of beauty. If all spotfests were this good, I would never complain. Hand To God. Immediate urgency. Engrossing. Fenix's body control is sublime. Those two dives to the floor maybe the two greatest dives in history. It was so fast & furious I cant remember the rest but it was really, really good. Yes LAX during their offense was a notch below, but still it is attiude that matters. Their attitude was in it to win it, hit hard & fast and just bring it. Ortiz's Homicide-esque cannonball outside was great, good stuff from Santana. Lets call a spade a spade, after this it went downwhill fast. Out came, the overly elaborate, overly telepgraphed, "lets gets everyone in perfect position" spots. It was too bad. The cutesy shit with the kicks was so fucking lame. A couple good things down the stretch that I loved. Pentagon's Canadian Destroyer was Holy Shit Awesome! It popped the crowd and it popped me! The symmetry of the Double Stomp/Package Piledriver and Street Sweeper both being broken up in a Epic Fashion. Really loved that. I kinda found the finish to be a little anti-climatic. I think I am so used to these things going ad nauseum, way past their expiration date. They hit the chic spots: Ace Crusher and Codebreaker to win. Once I got over my surprise that it ended so quickly, I would say it became more of a pleasant surprise. It was refreshing to be short, sweet. See I dont hate all spotfests, just bad ones. This was one of the good ones, but it take out the overly telegraphed, cutesy shit and this is a best spotfest of all time contender, but even with it in there it is still great. ****

Su Yung & Allie vs Jordynne Grace & Kiera Hogan - Impact Homecoming 1/6/19 So since Bound For Glory, Allie has transitioned to the Dark Side and has become Dark Allie complete with dye job and face paint joining Su Yung in the process. Kiera Hogan needed back-up enter rookie supernova, Jordynne Grace is a phenomenal powerhouse. I looked it up Jordynne Grace has been wrestling since 2012 WTF, mate?!? Still her first major break was in late 2018 as part of Impact so I am sticking with rookie supernova. Not a match I expect to remember tomorrow, but a fun little tag. I have come to hate Tree of Woe spots but Su Yung does a nifty one where Kiera Hogan sits up to avoid the dropkick to the head and Su Yung pivots into a neckbreaker that was nifty. I like Su Yung crawl up the turnbuckles and do a hurricanarana. I know Allie needed to play up the whole Dark Allie gimmick, but it was just so many facial expressions and not a lot of substance. Su Yung is so good at her gimmick it is hard to be in her shadow. Hogan had a nice shine at the beginning but other than that didnt see much out of her. Grace was a great hot tag. Couple big right hammocks to Su Yung especially the one as Su Yung was about to dive, a little too telegraphed but great execution. Finish was so well-done. It reminded me of the 80s where the finish was actually used to advance the plot. Su Yung blood mists Jordynne Grace to take her out. Dark Allie Codebreakers Hogan. Su Yung gives the bloody glove to Dark Allie for the Mandible Claw win. After the match, they rough up Hogan so more and the Nashville crowd chants for Rosemary! Fancy that! A storyline that resonated with people and characters they feel invested in so the crowd naturally does what you want! Who would have known? I love it! They threaten to stuff Hogan in a coffin as the Undead Bridesmaids wheel one out. ROSEMARY POPS OUT OF THE CASKET! Doesnt get quite the pop they wanted or expected! But they do eventually chant for her again that was cool. She uses Su Yung as a bowling ball to knock down the Undead Bridesmaids. Then stareoff with Dark Allie but nothing comes of it as expected. Great angle to close. This felt very 80s in a very good way! ***1/2

Michael Elgin vs Rich Swann - Impact 5/17/19 Elgin recently debuted in Impact less than a month ago taking out the new champion, Brian Cage. Elgin is being pushed very similarly as Cage as a hybrid athlete, an athletic jock meathead. Cage is the babyface version and Elgin is the heel version. Elgin is hospitalizing wrestlers including Cage. Swann stood up to him and that's how we got here. This is coming from the ECW Arena, but there is no Hat Guy so it doesnt feel like the ECW Arena. Very much a 21st Century workrate match with not much in the way of hooks but a whole lot of noizzzze. Elgin could be a great wrestler but he is too busy trying to prove he can hang when I would much rather see him bang. Swann is good craic but he aint the guy to carry this, mack. Workrate sequences to start. They kill time. Elgin catches Swann with an elbow to the back of the head and throws Swann on his head. Damn that looked nasty. I perked up. Elgin worked an alright heat segment. I liked the hope spot with Swann knocking him off only to have Elgin hit a ground to air anti-air dropkick to counter Swann. That was the only time Elgin's hybrid athleticism looked scary. It looked like nothing Swann could do would be able to beat Elgin as he a power and athletic advantage. Then Swann countered the Elginbomb with a DDT and the match just became a normal workrate match. Swann hit three dives to the floor and then a top rope elbow drop. Back from the break, they just do some inconsequential stand up wrestling. The lariats from Elgin at least looked meaty and impactful. The finish is Swann hits the 450 Splash (ugly, fell short), but misses Phoenix Splash. Elgin hits the Lariat and Elginbomb and only gets two. This is the move that hospitalized your World Champion and Rich Swann kicks out at two because it is a wrestling match. C'mon bro. Swanna hits a couple Dragonrana because it is 2019, the second one was a pretty nasty spike. Somehow we end up on the floor. Elgin powerbombs Swann into the post three times. Oh shit! Some actual storytelling advancement. Instead of chasing "This is Awesome" Chants how about Swann misses the Phoenix Splash and it leads to Elgin powerbombing Swann mercilessly into the post. Protects Elgin's finish and makes Elgin look like a monster. I guess this was ok for 2019. ***

No official review I was too busy marking out with my Mom watching Sasha die for our sins! We are not worthy! If there is one thing you can count is that Sasha Banks DELIVERS IN HELL IN A CELL! Holy shit that was kickass! The weird shit with the duct tape keeps below the AJ vs Bryan classic BUT Deathwish Sasha is the best Sasha! I counted 4 insane bumps and the two with the Kendo Sticks and the stairs what the fuckity fuck fuck. I LOVE HER! Great transitions! Great selling! Sasha snapping towards the end was great. The drop kick of the chair out of the ring was the perfect beginning. The La Mistica Bank Statement! THE METEORA UP THE TABLE!!! THE POWERBOMB BACK OF THE HEAD INTO THE CHAIR!!! The chair up on the Frogsplash! The Bayley 2 Belly steal! THE EPIC BANK STATEMENT FINISH! Are there enough stars in the sky for all this epic ness? I am not sure! Loved that match!

If there is one thing you can count is that Sasha Banks DELIVERS IN HELL IN A CELL! Holy shit that was kickass! The weird shit with the duct tape keeps below the AJ vs Bryan classic BUT Deathwish Sasha is the best Sasha! I counted 4 insane bumps and the two with the Kendo Sticks and the stairs what the fuckity fuck fuck. I LOVE HER! Great transitions! Great selling! Sasha snapping towards the end was great. The drop kick of the chair out of the ring was the perfect beginning. The La Mistica Bank Statement! THE METEORA UP THE TABLE!!! THE POWERBOMB BACK OF THE HEAD INTO THE CHAIR!!! The chair up on the Frogsplash! The Bayley 2 Belly steal! THE EPIC BANK STATEMENT FINISH! Are there enough stars in the sky for all this epic ness? I am not sure! Loved that match!

Bobby Roode vs James Storm - TNA Bound For Glory 2012 Street Fight Beer Money Explodes~! One of the last angles I watched as a regular TNA viewer was when Roode turned on Storm the year prior by breaking the beer bottle over his head. They got a year out of the feud which is pretty good. King Mo is the Special Enforcer just because. As far as 21st Century brawls go this was pretty damn good. It felt more hate-filled than most nowadays. There was lets Feng Shui bullshit and more just pound the shit out of each other. Storm also tapped a gusher. He was wearing the full on Crimson Mask so that was pretty badass. They were throwing the haymakers to start, the babyface Storm held the advantage early. The Russian Legsweep into the railing by Storm was sick, love that spot. He wanted to slam Roode through the really nice glass table, but Roode wriggled free and catapulted Storm into the post which busted him wide open. In terms of weapons, it was mostly the garbage can and the kendo stick, but more garbage can. I thought them smacking each other with garbage can lids came off really good and really intense. I liked how Storm punctuated it with the massive garbage can shot to the head. Roode sold well and he bumped well for a random Codebreaker. In a different life, Roode was a tremendous stooge heel that bumped 'n' run rather than a HHH-wannabe. Storm had hit the Orton DDT on the ramp and Roode followed suit with the Spinebuster. King Mo was selling the violence really well. They do a little Follow The Leader to the announce tables. Roode tackles Storm off the primary announce table through the Spanish Announce Table. Roode only gets two and he is incredulous and tries to intimidate the ref. This is when King Mo steps in. Storm gets that Codebreaker I was talking about and the Last Call Superkick for a hot nearfall. Roode throws Storm into a chair and then grabs the tacks. King Mo sells the tacks bump well. Roode goes into them after being shoved off the top. Flat back bump into the tacks. Storm was a little tentative on the elbow drop into the tacks. I dont blame him. I would be most concerned about one of those hitting me in the eye so the flat back seems a little safer. Roode had two stuck in the back of his head. Wild. Roode low blow. Time to get the beer bottles. That's really what the feud is about to so it is an appropriate way to end it. Roode goes to smash one, but Storm punts him between the uprights and gets the bottle and smashes it over his head. The crowd wants one more but Storm sticks to the script Last Call and Roode takes another bump into the tacks. I thought this was a great blood-soaked, hate-filled brawl. I would have liked this to have been a bit more uptempo and a little more struggle. As far as 21st Century brawling this is pretty damn great but still not as good as the incredible James Storm vs Chris Harris Death Match! ****

AJ Styles vs Sandman - NWA-TNA 2/26/03 Shoutout to @Microstatistics for nominating this as a part of Greatest Match Ever! I wouldnt go that far but this is definitely worth a watch. I am one of the biggest AJ fanboys you will ever meet. I think a lot of people would assume if it is good well AJ must have carried it, but you'd be wrong. I don't know how to explain it. Sandman for all intents and purposes should be the worst wrestler ever. He is slovenly, out of shape, does not seem like gives a shit, but he is capable of being really fucking good. Yes he has more clunkers than great matches, but after watching a boat load of ECW he became one of my favorites. His matches are just engrossing. They are quick and they escalate really well. He comes off incredibly organic and raw. There is nothing artificial or pre-planned about The Sandman. He is all attitude and heart. He is like a great, sloppy punk band. He fucking kicked ass again. The only reason I dont rate this match higher is the finish was a cop-out and made the match feel truncated. They were on a trajectory for greatness, they just needed five more minutes and a better finish. Sandman forces himself on one of the cage dancers. I mean two heaping helpings of ass cheeks and full on tongue down the throat. It was a culture shock. I cant believe that was only 17 years ago. He does the full Sandman entrance. He shares a beer with a fan and smokes a cig. Don West says a smooch, smoke and a swig is the best way to prepare for a match. DW is definitely a fan. AJ gets fed up with this and wipes out The Sandman with a dive to the floor. Rifles him with a kick. AJ Wrestles circles around Sandman quite literally and Sandman puts enough struggle to make it look really good. I would love AJ bust out his amateur credentials more often. Another wicked kick by AJ. Oh yes the reason this match exists. AJ wants to join SEX 4 Life, I mean who doesnt, but so does Raven. You name your faction SEX people are gonna flock. Raven mocks AJ for diminutive stature and says the Sandman would whup him. AJ says Raven is an out of shape, washed up has been who could hang in the X-Division so Raven needs to wrestle an X-Division wrestler. So the gauntlet has been laid down. Also random aside, in the middle of the show, I had to click around to find the match, Impact+ doesnt have the WWE frame by frame guide. I stumbled upon Mike Tenay and Disco Inferno having a fucking forum flame war over why wrestling's TV audience has been cut in half since the Monday Night Wars and the merits of Sports Entertainment and Pro Wrestling. Bizarre and whats weirder is I feel like people are still fighting about today on forums and Twitter. Back to the match, so after showing up Sandman wrestling-wise, AJ wants to prove his hardcore mettle. So he lobs a trash can in Terry Funk-style and nails Sandman. He goes to drop toehold Sandman into it but Sandman evades and CHUCKS THE CAN AT AJ! Sandman is so good at selling and the way he chucked the can was great. He grabs a table sets it up and AJ crashes through it. The match is awesome and breezy and each highspot feels important. AJ evading the Singapore Cane was great. Sandman avoids Styles Clash by cracking the Cane on AJ's skull. Sandman sends AJ into a chair that pops out the backing. The match was just rocking when Raven blasts Sandman in the back with the chair and Styles his Styles Clash off the second rope. It is a real shame I feel like the match was just getting good and the interference didnt really make sense in context of the story (I know, I know, Russo). I enjoyed this could have been great with more time and a proper finish. ***3/4

NWA World Heavyweight Champion vs Raven - NWA-TNA 8/27/03 I am really glad I went back and watched this one because this was awesome! I may have watched this live. We had a cable scrambler back in the day so I watched all the WWE PPVs from 2003 and I distinctly remember AJ vs D'Lo being the first TNA match I saw. I remembered the Raven hanging at the hands of Shane Douglas/New Church. Also I remember the Glen Gilberti/Simon Diamond/Johnny Swinger team around this time. I dont remember anything about this match but it was a banger. This is the best Raven has ever looked in the ring in my opinion. He was moving great and is well-suited to be a babyface. It was so refreshing for the crowd to be solidly behind one wrestler as opposed to just chanting "This Is Awesome!". There was an absolutely thunderous "Go Raven Go" chant during the heat segment. The nearfalls for Raven got nuclear heat. AJ starts the match throwing kicks trying to knot up the hammy but Raven just decks and Raven uses his size to assert his dominance. Shouldertackle for a quick cover. Raven holds the ropes on the dropkick attempt and headbutts AJ in the nads. Great shit! Raven chucks out over the top rope in a cool way. I thought AJ was going to take a back body drop but Raven held him on the shoulder and javelin threw him out. Raven brutalizes him on the outside busting him open with the trash can and then repeatedly Russian Legsweeping into the railing. This was an awesome shine! Uptempo and everyone was rocking with Raven. Russo distracts Raven. AJ punts him in the balls and hits his Quebrada/DDT. The Gathering (CM Punk sighting) carry Russo out. AJ hits an Enziguiri and locks in the Mutalock. MASSIVE GO RAVEN GO CHANT! Raven hits a superkick for a hope spot and big pop! AJ with a springboard Rana takes back control. This being 2003 we get a lot of move stealing. AJ drop toeholds Raven face first into the chair but only gets two. When he tries again, Raven puts on the brakes and chucks the chair at AJ! That was awesome! Raven fires up! I mean FIRES THE FUCK UP! I dont think I have ever seen him like this! I love it! Raven rebound clothesline, you know the spot, Million Dollar Kneelift! Raven is on fire! I thought he was going DDT, but instead goes Drop Toehold on the Chair. AJ Goes all Sabu and is thinking Triple Jump Moonsault but as he comes off the top rope Raven hurls the chair at him! ALL THE STARS! MARK OUT CITY! 1-2-NO! Nuclear heat on that nearfall. I thought this was an example of fun, exciting overbooking. Raven counters an AJ rana with a Styles Clash! Very 2003. Sinn of the New Church pulls the ref out. AJ inadvertently dropkicks Sinn. Raven and AJ bump the ref tussling for a DDT. Raven hits the DDT but the crowd does not care because they know more interference is coming. Raven kicks the powder into Slash's face. I love that spot! Slash in his blindness hits his finish on AJ to a NUCLEAR NEARFALL! The crowd wanted that bad. Here comes Shane Douglas who is Raven's main rival comes out and knocks him off the top on a superplex attempt. HOWEVER, Raven powerbombed AJ coming off the top rope for another big nearfall. The crowd is ravenous for Raven. Douglas punts Raven in the balls and Styles Clash finishes Raven off. I liked this overbooking because it was fun & exciting to watch Raven come up with different ways to overcome the odds and I love how shit kept backfiring against the heels. AJ dropkicking Sinn, Slash Slamming AJ, Shane pushing Raven off, but Raven still executes the powerbomb. It was a really clever and entertaining way to do. ****1/4 Big melee ensues. Erik Fucking Watts comes out looking like the biggest Nickelback tool who ever walked the Earth. I was 14 at this time and all I knew of Erik Watts was from reading Scott Keith and how he threw the worst dropkick in history. I think I have seen it, but you know what I really should track that dropkick down. Watts is a toolbox and makes Wargames for next week. Then Dusty comes in, I wish Dusty cut the entire promo. Dusty is the man!

NWA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett vs AJ Styles - NWA-TNA 2/19/03 I have never seen a Jarrett vs AJ match and I thought I should at least watch one. Jarrett is NWA babyface with basically zero friends. We are unsure if AJ Styles is SEX 4 Life, but at the end of the match we find out he only believe in monogamous relationships when he takes out Sonny Siaki (remember him?!?). AJ is playing a cocky jock who think he is the GOAT already and he would eventually make his case. :) I do like some overbooking but prefer it to be backloaded. This was filled with the usual Jarrett/TNA/Russo BS. Larry Legend is AJ's mentor and he keeps tripping Jarrett up and even decks him with Knux but Jarret lifts the shoulder at the last second. It was lame. That interference is better served at the end. There were two ref bumps. One was to allow the Harris Twins in and the other was to protect The Stroke. The Harris Twins were beaten back by the unlikely duo of Vader and Dusty Rhodes. TNA was a strange, strange place. Then there Sonny Siaki who was SEX 4 Life who beat up Jarrett but AJ says not this way and he gives him the Styles Clash. Jarrett attacks him from behind and hits the Stroke from the second rope for the win. Before all this unnecessary interference (only Siaki's was of interest to move the plot forward), they were having a great match that featured a lot of good Memphis punches. They had good chemistry I could see in a different promotion in a different time them having a great match. Both men had their right uppercut working. I loved AJ's dropkick. Jarrett's plancha to the floor was awesome and showed how bad he wanted it. AJ going for the figure-4 after the Knux shot only to switch to the Sleeper was good. There was a nice spot on how Jarrett broke the Mutalock with them both getting to the knees and Jarrett hitting stiff shots to get out. The Stroke and Styles Clash were good nearfalls. The overbooking was unnecessary and really detracted from the match especially because it caused wacky selling from Jarrett who took Brass Knuckles, Harris Twins Finish, Styles Clash and Siaki finish and after all that he popped up and hit the Stroke. It showed promise but it was ultimately not very good.

Ethan Carter III vs Rockstar Spud - TNA Impact 3/13/15 Hair vs Hair I am shocked there was no thread for this. When did these subforums get made? I know I am so old that my joining predates these subforums so maybe that's why. I went to Shoe's 2015 MOTY thread from 2015 and there were some real heavyweights weighing in on this match. Outside of the Broken Hardy stuff, this is by far and away the most famous thing to come out of TNA's darkest times 2014-2017. Pretty simple story, heel Ethan Carter III levels up to mega-heel when he turns on his heel lackey Rockstar Spud. I always think that's the ultimate heel dick move. You build up this relationship and it sort of humanizing like ECIII is a prick but the friendship with Spud is cute. Then when he beats the shit out him you really hate him. It is a great plot device to build the character. ECIII has gone all Brutus The Barber and is shaving people bald including Spud's close friend, "JB" Jeremy Borash. This is coming out of Spud's home country of England and he leads the audience in a rendition of God Save The Queen and it is just as rousing as when Slaughter did the Pledge of Allegiance in Allentown. What makes this work is this a Memphis-Style, Southern-Fried, Blood-Soaked Brawl! You almost dont need a review because it is so elegant in its layout. Spud is full of piss & vinegar to start and is red-hot. ECIII has a big, clunky arm brace on, probably for a Staph infection, I reckon. It is his best weapon. Spud climaxes his shine with a big dive to the floor. Here comes the Funkasaurus! I forgot about him. He attacks. Mr. Anderson takes him out. This gives ECIII the advantage and the consolidates that when he wildly clips Spud with the arm brace and this busts Spud open. This is definitely enhanced by the blood. Some people didnt like the Borash bit but I loved it. ECIII was doing an ok just on the heat segment as Spud was selling like a million bucks. The Borash bit is what put this over for me. ECIII throwing the bloodied Spud at his feet and taunting him. I thought JB was not going to do anything but he came in low blowed ECIII. Great spot! Popped me! Stunner 1-2-3! Great hope spot/nearfall. ECIII hit a TKO to take back control. Spud made his comeback including a Testicular Claw which popped me and taking a bunch of spots from the stars of yore. Spud goes for Sliced Bread which he should have hit and ECIII could have kicked out for the nuclear nearfall. One of the few times I have ever said they should not have protected the finish. It would have put the match over. ECIII clips with the arm brace again and his lame finisher it is just a bulldog finishes him off. ECIII disingenuously puts ECIII which you can smell from a mile away but hey thats what makes wrestling fun. He beats up Spud and shaves him from the Tree of Woe which I loved! ECIII could have been more vicious on offense and this could have used that Sliced Bread nearfall but besides that this was an awesome throwback to the days of yesterday when the blood flowed and fists flew. Spud truly was a rockstar on this night! ****1/4

TNA World Tag Team Champions Bobby Roode & Austin Aries vs The Wolves (Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards) - TNA Impact 7/1/15 30 minute Ironman First 15 minutes: No Falls to start. All the action is tight and good, but not really much happened. I cant even say oh they threw a ton of highspots. They just worked solid but not much was advanced in terms of the plot. I liked all the arm wringers. Roode stood out to me as the best verbal seller of the bunch and exhibiting the most struggle. Good stuff selling the arm wringer and an Indian Deathlock. I liked all the eyepokes and eyerakes by the Dirty Heels. The shine was not super strong but it was there. Aries deep, deep eyerake gets the transition to the heat segment. The heat segment was solid working over Edwards' leg. I liked the old school ref distraction and fake tags by the Heels, but it all just felt solid. It didnt move me. Writing this helped me realize what this reminds me of. It reminds me of the Hart Foundation vs British Bulldogs. It is well-worked, lots of action, but it doesnt move me emotionally. Davey gets the tag, not quite as explosive as a Davey Boy Smith hot tag with big dropkick but a pretty good hot tag. The Diving Headbutt into Roode as he sits up in a Tree Of Woe was fucking stupid. He kicks out. The Heels knock the Wolves off the top ropes and we go to commercial at the 13 minute mark, 17 minutes to go, it is 0-0. Last 15 minutes: We lose 5 minutes of this for commercials. I will admit I was confused. I thought The Wolves were Champions so I got really confused by the ending. It goes to show how bad the Matthews/Pope commentary team was. They do ratchet up the big bombs. Lots of big nearfalls. I really liked the Heels Missile Dropkick/Powerbomb combo. Edwards hits an overcomplicated running Stunner. There is a great German Suplex pinfall. They hit a double top rope double stomp. Lots of good jackknife covers. All kicks out. The Last Chancery had good heat because they were doing the whole All Japan Roode detains Richards, but Richards breaks free and breaks it up. The first fall does go to the heels. Aries hits his trademark running dropkick and Roode spinebuster, 450 splash. That was a great sequence. I thought at this point the Wolves just needed one fall to force the draw and retain. I didnt realize they needed two falls. Aries explodes into his Suicide Dive. I dont know what happened to Roode, but The Wolves hit a Powerbomb/Lungblower to knot it up. I was confused why the Wolves were still pressing. The last fall sucks. Roode hoists him up in a Firemans Carry Edwards crawls down and rolls him up for the win. Lame finish. The highspots got bigger but it still didnt do much for me. This Hart Foundation vs British Bulldogs for a modern audience for some that works for me, I think it is good, but not great. ***1/2

Impact Women's Champion Laurel Van Ness vs Allie - Impact 3/8/18 So I didnt know how to make heads or tails of Laurel Van Ness's gimmick (Laurel Van Ness is better known as Chelsea Green fyi). She has smeared lipstick over her mouth. I thought she was trying to do a psychotic valley girl but then I hit up Wikipedia. The backstory is pretty damn good. She was set to marry Allie's shoot husband aka The Blade. Blade left her at the altar for Allie. This caused her to descend into madness. Apparently, she used to wrestle in her tattered wedding dress and come out all boozed up/hungover. Awesome! Then she fell for Grado, a slovenly Scotsman who was looking for a Green Card. He rejected once he found out she was Canadian. Reading that popped the hell out of me. So she snaps again! Unfortunately she is not in her wedding dress for his match. Sounds like this match is a long time coming. Great way to start with Allie meeting her at the ramp and it is on like Donkey Kong! Great aggression on the outside. Laurel takes over. Very ok heat segment. The backstory was awesome, but her character work in the match was just fine. Allie is such a great fired up babyface. She hits a Codebreaker this starts her first comeback. Another trademark Allie spot is the suplex into buckles that gets two. They do some work with a chair on the outside that is pretty pedestrian. The match picks up again when Laurel hits the Unprettier on the floor. Drama is high now! Allie beats the count. Laurel hits a wicked curbstomp into the buckles again for two. Allie Valley Driver! Best Superkick Ever (it was actually her best superkick ever)! Allie was great. Laurel Van Ness was alright. The backstory sounds interesting but she did not inspire me to seek out more.

Impact World Heavyweight Champion Austin Aries vs Johnny Impact - Bound for Glory 2018 So who had these two down for best shoot-style brawl of the 2010s? Anybody? Anybody? I love both dudes. I have been banging the Morrison drum for a while, but I thought this was his more visceral, pugnacious performance yet. The fucking wacky shoot ending is unprofessional as fuck and Aries is a massive prick for doing it, but it does add to bizarrely shoot-y nature of the match. It turns into more of a spectacle and Aries' rationale for it in an Instagram Live interview is all the more ridiculous, but first the match. The first five minutes of this match are absolutely killer. IT FEELS LIKE A FIGHT! Fancy that! Struggle, grappling, nasty, dirty. Pro Wrestling fans like me and a lot of people who will read this have become desensitized. Aries had insulted Morrison's wife, Taya who was also ringside. Morrison responded in kind by wrestling this match as a fight and being all fired up. It made the story more real. It was not just pretend oh let me watch these two dudes do pretty moves to each other. They went after it tooth & nail. The way Aries hooked in the Guillotine Choke and they tussled. They really ratcheted up the aggression It looked so good. They had a great slap exchange and they were just wailing on each other. Morrison's strikes were on point especially his elbows. Watch how Morrison hits that plancha to the outside. It was not Aries standing around, Morrison just dove on him. I thought when Morrison leapfrogged Aries on the outside and did a split leg on the apron & railing only to do a Pele Kick was his best, most impactful use of Parkoor ever. I liked how Aries took advantage time and time again when Morrison started going for too many flying/gymnast moves. Aries was wrestling a meat & potatoes style. I love how Aries chops so damn good. There's a great moment where Aries rifles him with a kick and Morrison steps up and clobbers him. It felt so damn real. Aries was a great heel. Taya had a perfect moment when Aries was taunting her, the way she screamed Fuck You and flipped off felt like a shoot I loved it. After getting cut off going for springboards, Morrison returns the favor as he rocks with an elbow as Aries was going for his full speed suicide dive. Springboard Corkscrew for Morrison and he hits his Tidal Wave kick as he finally earned those moves. I did think the following section not only dragged but departed from what made the match great, which was this hate-filled, pugnacious shoot-style so going for Spanish Flys and all that jazz took me out of it. When they started fighting on the apron, they got me back and form the Apron Death Valley Driver on this match just rocked. Aries hits a picture perfect 450 Splash for two. The Running Dropkick, which is the set up to the Brainbuster meets feet and Starship Pain gets two as Aries grabs the ropes. This leads to Aries rocking with a Roaring Elbow, Big Dropkick and Brainbuster but Morrison gets the ropes. Good symmetry there. With a nearfall a piece, you know the end is night. Last Chancery! Morrison makes the ropes, I wish Taya was exhorting her husband on camera would have made for a good visual. Aries was staring a hole into Taya. I would have liked some taunt. A fuck you or suck it would have been massive heel heat and I am surprised Aries didnt got for that. Great slugfest and Aries just out of nowhere just runs full steam ahead and wipes Taya the fuck out! Morrison is livid and beats the tar out of Aries. I would have liked him to show more concern for his wife and also not take so long to beat Aries because you know your wife just wiped out, but that's a nitpick. Morrison hits Aries brainbuster and Starship Pain. Aries pops right up, starts flipping off the crowd (turns out he was flipping off Don Callis), and walks out. Morrison clearly says "Are you fucking kidding me?". So what the hell happened. Aries had a 45 minute conversation with Killer Kross who was ringside along with Moose as Aries' flunkies, but never got involved. I did not listen to 45 minute conversation because I have better things to do but if someone did and I got the details wrong please lemme know. Basically Aries was working on like the last day on his contract for this show and he was in the midst of negotiations in the run up to the show. Morrison makes a short joke. In fairness, my Dad is 5' 6" like some dudes do take that shit seriously like my Dad. I am 6' so I know not to do that around him for instance. Aries comes up with this tweet that's ok to make fun of short people but not other protected classes like race, handicapped, sexual orientation or weight and basically how come it is ok to make fun of short people. In the middle the tweet, he calls Morrison out for having a "gay look" and called Taya "husky". I think we can argue until we are blue in the face about what heels can or cannot say. I do think there is a line. I don't think he crossed it here. He was a heel. He was not going to glorified for these comments. He was going to be shamed and beaten. So I do agree with him. Morrison & Taya agreed to the tweet and said they would sell it on TV, but were cool with as a shoot. Regardless of my feelings or Aries' or Morrison's or Taya's, Don Callis did not agree and ordered the tweet be taken down. Aries got pissed. I think this is where Aries is in the wrong. Your boss disagrees with you creatively sorry man, but just drop it. It is not like tweet was going to draw thousands and thousands of fans or millions of dollars. I know it is a principle point of as a heel I should be able to do heelish things, you gotta sallow your pride. We all do. Aries concocted this shoot finish to drum up some controversy. Let's be real, his feelings were hurt, he felt wrong and he wanted to lash out at Callis and fucking ruin the moment. He was a fucking asshole. His rationale was hilarious. Stating that Starship Pain is a weak move and would never knock a man out that long and when Connor MacGregor loses he does not stay around long. He also added it was his own Brainbuster (because no one else has ever done a Brainbuster) is why he lost not Starship Pain. What a loon. On top of that, he begins the conversation talking about protecting the business. Hate to break it to you but this finish did just the opposite of that. Just call a spade a spade, your feelings were hurt, you felt wronged and you lashed at the biggest possible moment to say Fuck You to Callis and ruin his main event of the biggest night of the year and Morrison/Taya were collateral damage. So fuck you Aries. Killer match though. ****1/2

Impact Women's Champion Allie vs Taya Valkyrie - Impact 4/26/18 I have loved the Impact Women's so much that I want to try to watch & review every title defense from 2018 & 2019. They pack a lot of physical, hard-hitting goodness in 4 minutes. This is Taya's best performance so far that I have seen. She was stiff and kicking ass. Jumped Allie at the bell with a clothesline and never relented. Some Kicks of Fear that would make Judy Martin proud. She was kicking through Allie, great choking. LOVED the overhand chops by Taya on Allie. Wicked hard. Check out Allie's neck/shoulder after the match it is bright red. Loved that Allie fired up and hit some vicious overhand chops for her own. Loved Allie's comeback that ended in her just dropkicking the corner and another where she just screamed "Im Allie"! Taya hit a vicious Saito Suplex. She looked damn good in this match very powerful. Like to see more of this and watch she was like against Jordynne Grace less workrate bullshit. She dawdles. Allie Superkicks here (the superkick has gotta go) and Codebreaker. Good physical sprint. I dug this. Su Yung and the Undead Bridesmaids play mind games but Rosemary saves. Good craic. ***1/4

Undead Bride. Allie In A White Tank. Sinister Minister. Sign Me Up. I wouldnt say this was a home run, but I found it exceedingly enjoyable. I know Su Yung kills Allie and I thought this was the segment. It is not so it was a nice swerve for me when Allie takes the hatchet to Su Yung! I popped for that! They wisely limited the dialogue in this. In the hands of even the most skilled actors, the chance for the cheese factor to be strong is high. Allie didnt speak until taking the hatchet to Su Yung. Before that they had James Vandenburg do all the talking and explain the context/rules of the Undead Realm. Allie kills two Undead Bridesmaids and splatters blood everywhere. Awesome. She sees her own soul. Vandenburg makes point that you can look but not touch. She did touch but nothing came of it that I know of. The Su Yung fight scene was really good. Su Yung says "Welcome Home" perfect horror movie line. "Your time has come" not as good. O I forgot to mention the whole point of this is that Allie is trying to rescue Kiera Hogan. She gets Hogan out of the coffin. They try to open the Coffin Portal To Earth, but James Vandenburg screws them over and says he would get Allie in, BUT Not OUT! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Undead Bridesmaids swarm. ROSEMARY! Starts kicking ass. Allie wants to save her. Rosemary helps them open the Coffin and tells them to go, but Allie wants her to come. Here comes Su Fucking Yung with the fucking hatchet in her neck. Goddamn. What a visual! If you watch, watch for no other reason than for Su Yung's tremendous acting with the hatchet. She rips the hatchet out. Here was my one big complaint. Instead of an epic badass fight scene between Su Yung and Rosemary. They all of sudden both have the ability to be able to shoot energy/plasma orbs from their hands they so this struggle until the Undead Bridesmaids seemingly overwhelm Rosemary. Kiera Hogan is all like lets get the fuck outta here and shuts the Portal Coffin shut. Allie says they have to go back. Kiera Hogan says Fuck That Noise, Allie clearly possessed says "its not ok". I am going to have to find out where the conclusion is. I liked this, a lot of fun. I would like to see eighth to a quarter of a show devoted to stuff like this or musical numbers with Jericho/MJF or just any form of genre-bending they can do. Variety is the spice of life.