cactus

From what we got here, Richter looks like she could be a good worker. She throws Kai around the ring whilst holding her in a hammerlock. Most of Kai's attacks consist of hair pulling. They run through holds until Richter is able to counter a top rope cross body to win the title. This was a decent enough sprint, but Cyndi Lauper is the only person coming out of this looking like a star. She botches Kai's name in the post-match interview, but she sounds much more comfortable on the stick than Richter did. ★★

Even as a big Andre mark, I can't defend this. This was a slow, lumbering mess. I understand this might of felt like a big spectacle at the time, but there's nothing engaging watching this through 2020 eyes. They trade piss-poor strikes, Andre locks on a bearhug and a headlock for what seems like an eternity before Andre mercifully ends this by landing a body slam. DUD

Rotunda gets worked over by Sheik and Volkoff. The attack by the heels is very basic, but they work a quick pace by utilizing a lot of quick tags. Rotunda eventually lands a hot tag to Windham, who cleans house until Sheiky Baby steals the win by landing a cane shot when the referee isn't looking. There's not much to say about this, it's completely run-of-the-mill. The U.S Express look like they could be decent, but they didn't get much of a chance to show off their skills. That's the first ever Wrestlemania title change in the books. ★★

Having JYD work with Valentine's slow and methodical style stopped him from getting gassed and stinking the place up. Whilst it's no workrate classic, JYD is over and Valentine's bumping from the basic offence being thrown at him was entertaining. Unlike the Sammartino vs Beefcake bout, they kept this at a respectable length and didn't allow the action to outwear it's welcome. The cheap finish reminded me of Lex Luger celebrating his win at Summerslam '93. The face didn't win the belt, no need to cheer that much. ★¾

You can't help but feel sorry for David Sammartino. He gets introduced first to little fanfare, and then the MSG crowd go bananas when Bruno is announced. The pity for David stops when you realise how dry and dull he is. The match consists of stalling, rudimental holds and a wearisome Beefcake control segment. It drags on for eleven minutes before Bruno storms the ring after Beefcake's manager interferes and the match ends in a double disqualification. Bruno fights off both, popping the crowd and making his son look like a total loser in the process. ★

This was a quick squash to put Bundy over as a monster heel and to set him up for the big push that will cultivate with him main eventing the next Wrestlemania. This is announced as going nine seconds, when in reality it lasted a little over twenty seconds. I've always had a hard time rating squash matches that are as brief as this was, but they did everything that they set out to do, so it escapes the dastardly DUD rating. ¼★

Santana has always been an underrated favourite for me. He has such a likable presence that's perfect for an undercard babyface. From his convincing punches to his crisp dropkick, all the stuff in his shine segment looks good. The Executioner tries to go for Santana's leg (like he said he would in his awful pre-match promo), but Santana is able to neatly wrestle out of his Figure 4 attempt and put him away with one of his own. The first match in Wrestlemania history is a decent five minute showcase for Santana, in which The Executioner didn't stand a chance. ★★½

If the wrestlers on this card were Pokemon, then Steamboat is the evolution to Tito Santana. He's still got that lovable mid level babyface look, but Steamboat is ripped to the gills. Crap references aside, this was probably the strongest workrate match on the card. Steamboat's offence is crisp and Bourne's Southern selling compliments it well. Bourne even sells a Steamboat atomic drop like he's Rick Rude. Enjoyable bout, as to be expected with Steamboat! ★★½

I think I've watched more episodes or ROH since they've been doing the Pure tournament than any other weekly wrestling show in 2020. Last time I sat down and watch a full ROH before the tournament must of been at least five years ago. It's been a super enjoyable product that helped me discover some newer talents. Even Jay Lethal was palatable! Tracy Williams and Fred Yehi are ace, and I'm glad Gresham is getting more of chance to show off his skills. He was always an absolute treat whenever he popped during the Rev Pro shows I've went to a few years back.

My main issues with this was the length and just how long the finishing stretch went. It felt like they were about to start going home during the middle of the match, only for them to go on for another ten minutes. Despite my gripes, this was thrilling, physical war. Dragunov takes a beating and Walter looks completely legitimate in everything he does. Walter's strikes had me wincing and Dragunov's loud, shouty selling made me an instant fan. 90's AJPW levels of physicality here. Probably one of the best things WWE will put out all year. Screw that awful, loud and obnoxious commentary though. ★★★★¼

I thought that was incredible. I'm not usually a fan when WWE tries to get all Epic Storytelling™ , but those two made it work. It kept me guessing what would happen next and I thought that finish was brilliant. Reigns looks like a star and Jey put in a phenomenonal babyface performance. All that stuff with Afa and Sika was the cherry on top of the sundae. Time for bed now, as nothing can top that!

A nuclear brawl between two big, super over lads. Baba is well past his prime here, with his holds and famous chops looking like shit, but he knows how to control a crowd and Hansen bumps all over the place to make Baba's chops look like a million bucks. Baba works over Hansen's arm in an effort to stop Hansen from using his Lariat, a nice bit of limbwork in this powder keg fist fight! This has a weak non-finish, but that's to be expected with the time period. ★★★¾

Tragic news. He was a regular on many of the RevPro shows that I used to attend. RIP.

Man, this might just be the most divisive match of the year. Some people are going to see this as a storytelling classic and others are going to see it as soap opera bullshit. I think it all depends on your opinion of trash talking in matches. I'm a fan as I think that it's an easy way to add character and it's a good distraction from the reality that all these matches are happening in a soulless empty arena. Reign's work when he's battering Uso might not be some of his most interesting, but he looked like a megastar and his facial expressions and mannerisms are top notch. Uso put in a solid effort as an outmatched babyface who's able to score a few hope spots. The drama with Jimmy Uso being conflicted about throwing in the towel had me hooked, and Reign's final assault was brutal and effective. A great way to establish Reigns as a top heel champion. ★★★¾

I zoned out during the totally forgettable second hour of uninspired rematches, but I caught the last two matches this morning and I thought they were both very good. Orton vs Mcintyre was a fun gimmicky brawl. Those two have great chemistry together and even the constant camera cuts didn't detract too much from the match. Mcintyre's back looked fucked after that windscreen spot. I think the Reigns vs Jey Uso match is going to divide a lot of people. It walked a thin line between storytelling classic and soap opera bullshit. I'm leaning more towards the former. Reigns looked like a megastar and Uso put in a fantastic babyface performance. Reigns is by far the most interesting wrestler in WWE at the moment. Can't wait to see what's next for him.

Yeah, I was surprised by how decent that was. Happy to see that they will be carrying on the program.

I wouldn't say Nakamura is past his prime. He's just happy to collect a big paycheck and go surfing whenever he wants. He's always been lazy in that way. I expect him to return to NJPW as a big time attraction with limited dates at some point. This ladder match has been fun. Most of the Covid-era ladder matches has been lackluster due to the lack of crowd, but these guys are making this work. Sami Zayn is a god damn treasure.

Bit gutted that I won't see Baszler and Jax wreck shop tonight, but this card felt like it could trimmed some of the fat. Roman vs Jey is going to be a right barnburner.

They've recently added a bunch of Velocity episodes to the network and there's plenty of hidden gems like this to be found if you are willing to dig around. Bryan might of been brought in to do the job for Noble, but they take the six minutes they're given and cram all the stuff you would expect to see in a competitive Danielson ROH technical epic. They start with some excellent mat work and Bryan shows he can more than hang with Noble. Bryan ends up taking a brutal backdrop driver, which wakes the crowd right up. Noble eventually gets the win by landing a corkscrew neckbreaker. I can't seem to remember him ever using that as a finisher. We would of lost some of the best indy matches of all time, but imagining Bryan having a run in Smackdown's cruiserweight division is mouth-watering stuff. ★★★¼

This match is basically Misawa vs Kawada on tour. Coming to your local theater! Far from their best bout, there's enough here to make it worth your time. You get some stellar strike exchanges, Kawada takes a Tiger Driver '91 and Misawa takes a Ganso Bomb. Misawa gets a win after a underwhelming elbow combo. It's fine... ★★★¼

One of the coolest tag teams ever. They always looked the absolute business. RIP.

Takayama has always been a mixed bag for me. He can sometimes be a bomb-throwing behemoth and other times he's a slow, out of shape bore. We got both sides of Takayama here. The first five minutes do nothing but pad out the match length. He soon starts using some heel tactics and this causes Misawa to fire up. Misawa was fantastic when he was dishing out receipts in the form of elbows. His comebacks were always excellent, but his submission skills looked bad and sloppy. There's not many near falls and they make every one feel like a big deal. I think this would be much better if they just let them trade bombs for 15 minutes and avoid the dull holds that put a damper on this match. ★★★¾

The first eight or so minutes are absolute gold. Hashimoto and Misawa don't go at it straight away and Otsuka teases Misawa. For a guy who's not exactly known for his facial expressions, Misawa clearly was able to convey how pissed he was at these punk Zero-One invaders. Hashimoto looked like a total boss, kicking Ogawa's ass until Misawa has no choice but to make the tag. He causes such a storm that NOAH wrestlers at ringside try to get involved. I thought the action lose a lot of momentum once the referee was able to calm everything down. Ogawa and Otsuka work together was decent, but it lacked the tension now that we've already seen Hash and Misawa already go at it. ★★★¾

Oh man, Cornette's fanbase are piling on David Bixenspan (he was the first person to post about the Kiss/Janela thing) after Cornette called him out. Brian Last has joined in, calling him a virgin. It's schoolyard behavior. Bix might have a bit of a reputation as a shit stirrer, but he doesn't deserve all the hate for rightfully calling out Cornette and his fanbase's homophobia. I admit that I still get enjoyment out of Cornette's podcast, but the actions of him, Last and his fanbase aren't doing him any favours. For a guy who hates Trump so much, he sure does act like him.

I had night two playing the background, so my attention was dipping in and out, but Yano's match against Sanada had me grinning from ear to ear. I don't find Yano that funny, but his schtick is endearing enough and it breaks up the serious matches nicely. Yoshi-Hashi vs Juice felt like it went on forever. I think Yoshi-Hashi might be my least favourite wrestler. He's completely competent, but he's so uninteresting and dull. I was expecting more from KENTA vs Goto as I felt it needed more hate. Tanahashi vs Naito was good, but they've had much better matches in the past.