cactus

Even taking into account the cop-out countout finish, this was better than it had any right to be. The tag team scene is still struggling come 1994, but it's clear that they have big things planned for Mabel. Mo works portions of this match to allow the bigger Mabel to not get too gassed and he's not too bad, he hits a really impressive cross body that gets a lot of height for his size. When Mabel is in the ring, the commentators gush over how huge he is and he gets a lot of power spots and even lands a spinning wheel kick that pops the crowd huge. The Quebecers double suplex Mabel and everyone in the building looks shocked. The Quebecers eventually get themselves counted out to save their belts. ★★¾

Earthquake squashes Adam Bomb in 30 seconds. Even though his gimmick was the shits, I had no idea why they made Adam Bomb lose this. Earthquake felt like a relic from the Hulkamania era and he was out of the company by May. With the exception of a brief cameo in the Gimmick Battle Royal in 2001, this would be the last time we would see John Tenta as Earthquake on a WWF PPV. DUD

I didn't hate the disqualification finish as it opens the door to a Luger/Perfect feud (that never happened, mind), but I did hate this match. Things start out well enough with Luger punching Yoko around the place. He attempts to slam Yokozuna, but is unsuccessful. Luger then gets trapped in a claw hold and the match slows to snail's pace. This felt like a Hogan match without the energy or charisma. The only reason I'm giving this even one star is that Yoko exceptional bumps well for Luger's forearms. ★

This only goes for three minutes and the crowd couldn't seem to care. The main thing that stuck out was how sexist Jerry Lawler's commentary was. Kai was the only person on this card who also wrestled at the first Wrestlemania. Both wrestlers are solid enough, with Blaze hitting a nice looking German suplex to get the win. The women's division would get better by later in the year, before they ultimately scrap it in late 1995. ★★

Crush could of been anyone else and the match wouldn't of changed much. This is Savage's last ever Wrestlemania match and it feels bittersweet as the crowd absolutely adore him. The falls count anywhere stipulation is admittedly dumb, but they don't overuse the pinfalls and this is over quick ever enough to not be tedious viewing. The finish with Savage tying up Crush to stop him from returning the ring was creative too. ★★¾

Nowhere near as bad as you would think. Bam Bam always surprised me at how agile he was. He bumps aroud for Doink when he needs to. Dink looks to be a competent worker, who's also quite athletic in his own right. The comedy spots are fine for what they are and this doesn't go too long. This follows the epic Bret vs Owen match and serves as an acceptable cool-off match to stop the crowd from being burnt out. ★★½

Just a technical masterclass with unbelievable workrate built around possibly my favourite storyline ever. Both Hart brothers have to resort to old Stampede tricks to try and outsmart each other. Bret just wants to get this whole saga over quickly, he doesn't want to fight his brother and has a championship match later in the night, so he's always going for quick pins. Owen is at his best when he's playing the bitter little brother and this might be his best ever performance. ★★★★¾

The workrate in this is so high that it feels massively out of place in 1985 WWF. Even Moonson is shocked by how hard these guys are going! I feel like Dynamite is a guy who's rated so highly because of how innovative his style was and not how great of a worker he was per say. Bret Hart in 1985 doesn't feel too different from Bret Hart in 1991. He plays to the crowd well and his stuff looks clean and crisp. He might be wearing blue instead of pink, but even here it's clear he's got all the skills to be a big star. ★★★¼

I never understood the logic of having babyface JYD get a bye into the finals, while the dastardly heel has to wrestle four times. Jesse Ventura uses this as fuel to go after JYD on commentary and post-match, but it still doesn't make JYD look like a conquering hero. Savage tries to salvage something out of JYD, but he's no miracle worker. Savage stalls around to kill time and beats down JYD on the outside. In an anti-climatic finish, JYD wins the tournament after throwing Savage over the top rope and getting the count out win. ★½

This is the only ever time these two met in a singles match and sadly it's not much to write home about due to a number of factors. This is their 3rd match in the evening and they don't get much time. The finish is quite famous, with Dynamite Kid landing a superplex only to get rolled up as he tries to float over. This is fine for what it was, but don't let Melter's high rating of this disappoint you like it did for me. ★★½

Standard Hogan match. Not much else to say about it. This gets the loudest reaction of the evening by far. The referee takes a bump, and Piper tries to use a chair but Hogan sees it coming and locks in a sleeper hold. Bob Orton Jr. runs in and to break the hold and gives Hogan the win by disqualification. Paul Orndorff runs in for the save and cleans house. ★★

I've never seen two guys trade holds so well yet be completely boring with it. Santana's leg is taped up after his first match and it becomes a massive factor when Orndorff atomic drops him to escape a headlock and Santana rolls around the mat in agony. Orndorff lands a drop toehold and starts wrenching on his damaged leg. This was when I noticed that that the crowd were starting to chant 'boring'. After Orndorff refuses to break up a grapple cleanly, the two brawl out outside the ring and get counted out. While I'm glad that their holds looked snug, Santana's selling was good and they crafted an interesting story for a face vs face match, I can't lie and say this was good as it was deathly boring. Too much downtime. ★¾

Dave Meltzer has this rated at minus five stars, one of two WWF/E matches to receive this 'award'. It's crap, but it's over in under a minute so I can't be too harsh on it. For whatever reason, the referee isn't anywhere to be seen when they start fighting in the ring. JYD lands a headbutt and counts his own pin. Monsoon says that there's no way that this result will be recognised as there was no official present, but JYD is already on his way to the back so Monsoon has to quickly make an excuse and it's on to the next match. DUD

Savage vs Steamboat is still a lot of fun even if they only get three minutes. Savage uses Elizabeth as a distraction to gain an advantage, but Steamboat fights back with some interesting looking moves. Savage pulls some brass knuckles out of his trunks and gets the win. Quick and to the point. ★★¾

The first round matches are done, and we now onto the quarter finals. Upon hearing that Randy Savage is facing Ricky Steamboat next, Jesse Ventura excuses himself from the ringside area and heads to the back to help Savage prepare for his match. The match itself is fine, with Kidd getting in quite of a lot of near-falls for a match of it's time. Adonis locks on the sharpshooter to work down Kid's leg and I think that might be one of the first times that move had been done in a WWF ring. Kid gets a win, but never stops selling his leg. ★★½

We FINALLY get a match that goes longer than five minutes and it's a lot of fun. They work quicker than I expected them to and the freshly turned babyface Mr Wonderful gets a lot of love from the crowd. Orton is a brilliant bumper and great at playing the chickenshit heel. He's still using his cast gimmick, and he ends up accidentally getting himself disqualified when the referee catches him using it a weapon. I'd usually call that a bullshit finish, but it added to the whole one-night tournament storyline. wasn't expecting to enjoy this one as much as I did. ★★★

The short matches were really starting to burn me out by this point, and I was pleased to see that this one might be getting more time by how they were working. Sadly it's not to be as this one ends suddenly with yet another bad finish. Muraco scores a three count on Santana, but Santana had his foot just under the bottom rope. Muraco celebrates, and Santana rolls him up for a sneaky win. Santana was the IC champ and the finish wasn't exactly fitting for a babyface. Santana is usually a guy who you can depend on, but this was quite disappointing. ★½

There's hardly any action to speak of here as Funk tries to talk Spot into both of them forfeiting the match by leaving the ring. It's all a ploy to get Spot counted out as Funk clobbers him as he's walking back, but this comes back to bite Funk as Spot fights back and manages to get back into the ring before the ten count. Clocking in at 27 seconds, this isn't even the shortest match on the card. Terry cuts two promos, one in the back and one in the ring, and anytime Terry Funk has a live microphone in his hands, you can expect some enjoyment. ½★

Sheiky Baby attacks JYD before the bell rings, but Dog fights him off. Sheik, like many of the wrestlers of his time, knows how to sell well for a punch. Sheik takes control after a failed failing headbutt attempt and locks on the Camel Clutch. After JYD passing out in the hold, Sheik releases it to beat on JYD some more and this turns out to be a fatal mistake as he's knocked out by a flash headbutt, which costs him the match. This was solid yet unremarkable. ★½

You are probably not going to find a more workrate pairing than this in WWF in 1985. They work a fast exchange, before Smith overpowers Steamboat and controls the match with a front facelock. Steamboat counters out of a Smith suplex by using the momentum to hoist Bulldog in the air for an impressive stalling suplex of his own. Just when things are starting to pick up, Smith crotches himself on the ropes after a failed dropkick attempt and the referee decides to award this one to Steamboat. Utterly shit finish, these guys could of made something really special if they were just given five more minutes. ★★½

Savage is already a high-level worker by 1985 and he's extremely entertaining even he's just stalling and trying to get away from Putski. To his credit, Putski doesn't look half bad here either. He plays to the crowd well and lands some nice looking strikes on Savage, who sells them well. This is all over in under three minutes, as Savage gets a cheap win by rolling Putski up with the assist of the ropes. For what it was, this was quite fun. ★★¼

In a finish that we've seen done countless times, Volkoff loses a match because a face attacks him whilst he singing the U.S.S.R national anthem. Kid comes of the top rope with a cross body and wins this in nine seconds. Not a very babyface move, but that's the WWF in the 80's for ya. The crowd love this and Kid does a front flip to celebrate. Kid looked ripped to the gills here. ¼★

This is the first match of the one night 16 man tournament. Only one of the first round matches goes over five minutes, so don't expect any in-depth analysis of the matches. Kirchner looks like a failed Vince project after the success of Hulk Hogan. Turns out you can't just slap a pro-USA gimmick on anyone and expect them to be a star, as the crowd don't care at all for Corporal Krichner. Adonis advances to the quarter finals by countering Krichner's suplex attempt (which he struggles to set up) with some form of a proto-DDT. Cool finish, crap match. At least we will get to see more of Adonis tonight. ½★

This was a lot of fun, but I felt the WWEisms hurt this match. Thatcher gushing out (the obviously phoney) blood after eating that brilliantly executed Showtime Kick felt like an afterthought, and the commentary didn't help it feel anymore organic. Compare Maruo's commentary to say, Jim Ross reacting to a nasty bladejob or big spot when he was at his peak and you will see what I mean. The cage dive also felt out of place for the type of match that were trying to accomplish. The actual in-ring stuff was great, with the strikes and the selling all hitting the mark. Thatcher has a lot of presence about him and if Matt Riddle isn't a huge star in the next few years, they've truly fucked up. ★★★¼

I was massively letdown by this. I don't find Lee engaging as a heel and Moxley felt like he was phoning this one in. I found the excess brawling around ring and weapon spots massively buried the previous match's no disqualification stipulation seeing as this had more tropes of a hardcore match without actually being one. The dive through the stage and the finish were cool, but I can't say I was a fan of this whole match. ★★