Calvin
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It doesn't matter if this was Iron Man or just a match with a 60-minute time limit because this crumbles due to its lack of a cohesion, not because it poorly adhered to the gimmick. Bret and Shawn introduce multiple compelling threads throughout the entire hour, but they end up being disparate and shallow short stories that fail to tie into the conclusion of the match. **1/4 -
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I'm here for Yokozuna and Vader beating the shit out of each other. **1/2
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Fun television match. It's rare to see Shawn with the size or power advantage. He's able to impose himself physically on the comparatively diminutive Waltman, but soon finds himself in hot water when he underestimates Kid's heelish moxie. ***
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There's some great individual moments here (El Dandy's punches, his heeling, the topes into the crowd), but I felt there wasn't enough connective tissue here for me to appreciate the totality of the match. It's partially my fault for diving into this blind, but lucha libre has always felt innately inaccessible to me, and I just have a harder time viscerally connecting with it. At least in comparison to other styles. **3/4
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Bret has these anodyne performances sometimes that make me question his greatness. **1/2
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Career-defining rubs for Doc and Gordy as they're elevated to main event acts after this win; the memorable post-match angle is the cherry on top as Hansen turns on Tenryu, Tsuruta makes the save, but gets clobbered by Tenryu in return, and it turns into an American Western-style three-man standoff between three of the top talents in All Japan. As for the match itself, you get the sense afterwards that these types of bruising, physical matches are essentially precursors to the type of meaty-men-slapping-man meat (thanks, Big E) matches we see from modern heavyweights that Reddit creams their pants over. The match swerves in the last ten minutes as it deftly transitions from slugfest to a precision attack on Tenryu's legs by MVC. Hansen is as restless on the sidelines waiting for a hot tag that never comes. Risky move, but the payoff is brilliantly executed. ****1/2
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Death, taxes, and Minoru Suzuki being a grumpy fucking asshole.
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This is for Flair's NWA World Heavyweight Championship. Luger has great babyface fire, his power spots rule, but his selling isn't good enough to keep this from unraveling -- and when you're going forty-fucking-minutes, his selling needed to be on point here. There's some arm-work here, and then some leg-work there ... but it's all transient, ultimately meaningless, filler. Flair does his best to keep it focused, but the long runtime is just brutal, and Luger is clearly not the ideal dance partner for the type of ambitious, workhorse match they're aiming for. We get a fuck finish in the end with the Andersons interfering and getting Luger counted out of the match (it should've been a DQ, but whatever). **3/4
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How does Tom Zenk get more shine versus Flair than Pillman does? Flair is full on heel-mode, and of course it's fucking great as he beats the shit out of Pillman and connives his way into the pinfall. Pillman shows his inexperience here by getting lured into emotional chop wars with Flair, and he's easily tricked by Flair's heelisms. Crowd is firmly behind him, though, and the nearfall on Air Pillman was epic (if not slightly botched by Woman blowing the pinbreak). ***1/2
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I almost skipped this match because I'm not keen on seeing eyeballs fall out of orbital sockets as much as I love the wanton violence of pro-wrestling. I can't even bear the thought of even using contacts; I'm far too squeamish when it comes to eyes. But I did it, though. At what cost? Hansen going after Vader's injured eye almost made me puke. Anyways, this is kind of structured as a hard-hitting exhibition, and while it's a lot of fun, it lacks the substance of a memorable match. If it weren't for the infamous eye incident, I imagine this wouldn't get much recognition. ***1/4
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