Calvin
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Everything posted by Calvin
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It doesn't matter if this was Iron Man or just a match with a 60-minute time limit because this crumbles due to its lack of a cohesion, not because it poorly adhered to the gimmick. Bret and Shawn introduce multiple compelling threads throughout the entire hour, but they end up being disparate and shallow short stories that fail to tie into the conclusion of the match. **1/4 -
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I'm here for Yokozuna and Vader beating the shit out of each other. **1/2
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Fun television match. It's rare to see Shawn with the size or power advantage. He's able to impose himself physically on the comparatively diminutive Waltman, but soon finds himself in hot water when he underestimates Kid's heelish moxie. ***
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There's some great individual moments here (El Dandy's punches, his heeling, the topes into the crowd), but I felt there wasn't enough connective tissue here for me to appreciate the totality of the match. It's partially my fault for diving into this blind, but lucha libre has always felt innately inaccessible to me, and I just have a harder time viscerally connecting with it. At least in comparison to other styles. **3/4
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Bret has these anodyne performances sometimes that make me question his greatness. **1/2
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Career-defining rubs for Doc and Gordy as they're elevated to main event acts after this win; the memorable post-match angle is the cherry on top as Hansen turns on Tenryu, Tsuruta makes the save, but gets clobbered by Tenryu in return, and it turns into an American Western-style three-man standoff between three of the top talents in All Japan. As for the match itself, you get the sense afterwards that these types of bruising, physical matches are essentially precursors to the type of meaty-men-slapping-man meat (thanks, Big E) matches we see from modern heavyweights that Reddit creams their pants over. The match swerves in the last ten minutes as it deftly transitions from slugfest to a precision attack on Tenryu's legs by MVC. Hansen is as restless on the sidelines waiting for a hot tag that never comes. Risky move, but the payoff is brilliantly executed. ****1/2
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Death, taxes, and Minoru Suzuki being a grumpy fucking asshole.
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This is for Flair's NWA World Heavyweight Championship. Luger has great babyface fire, his power spots rule, but his selling isn't good enough to keep this from unraveling -- and when you're going forty-fucking-minutes, his selling needed to be on point here. There's some arm-work here, and then some leg-work there ... but it's all transient, ultimately meaningless, filler. Flair does his best to keep it focused, but the long runtime is just brutal, and Luger is clearly not the ideal dance partner for the type of ambitious, workhorse match they're aiming for. We get a fuck finish in the end with the Andersons interfering and getting Luger counted out of the match (it should've been a DQ, but whatever). **3/4
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How does Tom Zenk get more shine versus Flair than Pillman does? Flair is full on heel-mode, and of course it's fucking great as he beats the shit out of Pillman and connives his way into the pinfall. Pillman shows his inexperience here by getting lured into emotional chop wars with Flair, and he's easily tricked by Flair's heelisms. Crowd is firmly behind him, though, and the nearfall on Air Pillman was epic (if not slightly botched by Woman blowing the pinbreak). ***1/2
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I almost skipped this match because I'm not keen on seeing eyeballs fall out of orbital sockets as much as I love the wanton violence of pro-wrestling. I can't even bear the thought of even using contacts; I'm far too squeamish when it comes to eyes. But I did it, though. At what cost? Hansen going after Vader's injured eye almost made me puke. Anyways, this is kind of structured as a hard-hitting exhibition, and while it's a lot of fun, it lacks the substance of a memorable match. If it weren't for the infamous eye incident, I imagine this wouldn't get much recognition. ***1/4
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This is for Sano's IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Championship. Liger denies a pre-match handshake from Sano by palm thrusting him a billion times in the face, and the tone of the match is immediately established. It's going to be a fucking fight. Sano responds by tearing at Liger's mask and throwing him headfirst into the ring post, busting him open. He's a little too robotic at times with the way he works over Liger, but Sano's performance is mostly great here as he basically controls Liger for the entire match and showcases an awesome offensive arsenal of suplexes & kicks. It's really the pathos of Liger's performance here that elevates this into classic territory, though. I don't recall ever seeing him this vulnerable -- barely able to get his offense in and the majority of his mask is hanging off his face. Blood (and grainy tape footage) is the only thing that's preventing his full face from being exposed to the world. (I hardly ever take note of it, even though I should, but the camerawork here was really good and led to some awesome visuals of Liger bloodied & broken.) In the end, Liger's comeback feels palpably urgent and it's everything you want from a desperate wrestler that is a few heartbeats away from total collapse. ****3/4
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I can't put my finger on why this match leaves me feeling cold, but maybe it was just the lack of any crowd response. There's some decent mat-work here, and Owen showcases his cool high-spots -- including an awesome crossbody tope suicida into the guardrail -- but it never really amounted to anything compelling. **1/2
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One of the best sub-ten minute matches of all-time. Takagi showcases some courage in the face of adversity and nearly topples Tenryu with an opening German, but he ends up getting an even bigger ass beating instead. His shine segment in the finishing run was even more heated, but ultimately did him no favors as he took multiple hard chairshots from Tenryu across his back and a disgusting Cloverleaf submission for being a little shithead. ****
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You can hear the announcers struggling to justify the reason this is being shown on a Power Hour right before Clash of Champions X, and it is a questionable booking decision for sure, but it doesn't matter because the crowd is fucking molten hot for this, and it's so much fun. It's the intersection of all the feuds currently at play between these two teams plus the new addition of Sting into the Four Horseman, and everything seamlessly flows together. ***1/2
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It's a territory match on a big-4 WWF PPV, and while there's some goofy bullshit that needs to be sifted through, the match itself is a slugfest at heart dressed up as a submission match. I thought the constant pinfalls were more comical than detrimental, but I understand if people think it hurt the flow of the match. This probably is looked at more fondly if it were just a regular match without the stip. ***1/4
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This hits all the same beats as the 1/14 match, but with lesser performances from the minions. Kawada isn't quite there yet, and Takagi is just lower-card fodder who's there to eat the shit off of Tenryu's boots. In the end, Tenryu leaves the match to brawl with Jumbo's buddies on the outside, leaving Kawada to poorly fend for himself. Tenryu has gone piss-mad; someone give the old man some cranberry juice. ***
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