W*ING TV Season 1, Episode #1:
*W*ING USA Season 1 Theme plays - "Bloodlust" by Iron Cross*
*Highlights play of various explosions and crazy moves from W*ING USA’s roster*
Kris Kloss: Welcome to Hollywood, California! ...It is finally time ladies and gentleman to DIE FOR WING USA!!! Joining me tonight on commentary is the illustrious hardcore icon, TERRY FUNK!!
Terry Funk: Thank you, Kris. This is an exciting time for wrestling fans all over the world and I am grateful towards Onita for getting me involved. I feel great tonight, Kris, I feel like I can still go but out of respect for Onita it's time for the new generation to shine.
Kris Kloss: Our other broadcast colleague, Dave Meltzer, will be joining us at W*ING USA's first taped event, '96 Tears....
*Atsushi Onita's Theme plays - "Wild Thing" by Sam Kinison* (Onita will be using this alternate version for W*ING USA)
Kris Kloss: Speaking of Onita, it looks like the boss is here!
Onita makes his way to the ring flanked by Tarzan Goto and Kimona Wanalaya. Onita is wearing a dress shirt and tie with a 90's style business leather jacket. Fans are buzzing around the W*ING Warehouse as Onita soaks in the applause! Tarzan Goto is in a W*ING USA tracksuit and Kimona is looking every bit the sexy secretary!
Onita: Thank you, everybody!! Are you ready to DIE FOR WING!!!!!!
Crowd: DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING!
Onita: (Long pause) First order of business tonight...is the WING USA Grand Championship that will be decided at '96 Tears. There will be three combatants with an opportunity to become the first Grand Champion in a Heaven or Hell ladder match! The three names that will compete for the title will be...Hayabusa! (crowd pops) ...Hakushi! (crowd pops) ...and Gladiator Mike Awesome!! (crowd pops)
Crowd: DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING!
Onita: Three of the best on the planet, WING USA is for the people! Now that we've got that handled, I don't know if you have all heard the news today...but ECW has sold out and become…(laughs)...the NWA.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Onita: Paul Heyman?...you couldn't take the heat so now Onita runs the kitchen!!
Crowd: Oh! Nee! Tah! Oh! Nee! Tah!
Onita: Paul Heyman...you are a coward and WING USA IS HOME OF THE BRAVE!!!
*LIGHTS CUT OUT*
*The Sandman's Theme plays - "Enter Sandman" by Metallica*
Kris Kloss: THE SANDMAN HAS ARRIVED IN WING USA!!!!!!!! AND HE'S GOT BEULAH MCGILLICUTTY WITH HIM!!!!!
The Sandman smashes several beers as he makes his way to the ring...the crowd is electric! As he enters the ring, Onita hands Sandman a microphone. Sandman is wearing an official W*ING USA “I Stole Tommy’s Bitch!” t-shirt.
Sandman: LOS ANGELES!!!!!!!
The crowd roars!!! DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING!
Sandman: Onita, thank you for having the balls to bring in the Sandman!!!
Crowd: Oh! Nee! Tah! Oh! Nee! Tah!
Sandman: Paul, I know you're watching this while you hide in mommy and daddy's basement...You think you can throw away the heart and soul of ECW for a cheap buck, you son of a bitch!? You made a *BIG MISTAKE* Paul! You turned it into Extreme Corporate Wrestling! After I take the WING USA Grand Championship, I am gonna burn down your dreams Paul and piss on the ashes!!! As for the rest of the guys still glued to your ass...Tommy Dreamer...you might still be slaving for Heyman but I stole your bitch!!!!
Sandman puts his arms around Beulah and Kimona.
Crowd: STOLE HIS BITCH! STOLE HIS BITCH! STOLE HIS BITCH!
Sandman: Onita...you brought me here and I want into the Heaven or Hell ladder match for the strap!!
Onita: Sandman, you want in the ladder match? (crowd pops) Let's make it a four corners match!!! (crowd pops) Fans, you can see W*ING USA is free and uncensored...These other promotions fear us...WCW...Nature Boy...Ric Flair, I respect you but we are going to shut down your old boy's network!! WCW? What is that? …Women Can't Wrestle? Bischoff, you remember Madusa, huh? She threw your piece of shit belt in the trash!? That's why tonight in our main event...I've decided that the Women's Championship will be on the line tonight!! "Queen of the Deathmatch" Megumi Kudo vs. Alundra Blayze!!
Crowd: DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING!
Onita: Speaking of boys...."Boy Toy" Shawn Michaels...you don't wanna prance around here, boy! Vince, we will break your boy toys all over this city! …Akira Maeda!? You throw some big strikes, huh?
*Walks over to ringside and gets handed a barbwire baseball bat*
Onita: Maeda...you show up in WING and you're going to get this bat across the face!
Crowd: DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING! DIE FOR WING!
*All of a sudden*
*Cobra's Theme plays - "Turbo Charged" Sting's WCW Theme*
Kris Kloss: WHAT THE-? Is that....?
Terry Funk: I don't think it is......
Cobra walks down the aisle to the ring looking identical to Sting in every way except for a Cobra logo on his gear.
Cobra: YEEEEEOWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Crowd: YEEEEOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!
Cobra makes his way through the ropes and grabs a microphone. Tarzan Goto instantly gets in Cobra’s face!
Onita (laughing): What the hell do you want? Why are you here?
Cobra: Why am I here? WHY AM I HERE?! YEEEEOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Onita: …Because WWF doesn’t want you?
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Cobra: Onita, you want to rip on WCW? I have a proposition for you. Let me bring my friends into the trios battle royal at ‘96 Tears and we’ll prove we’re the best wrestlers in the world!
Onita: You’re not Sting, buddy…but you got good size. You wanna get your ass beat in the battle royal? Fine, I am in a generous mood…bring your “friends” with you!
Just then, Sandman unloads on Cobra with a Singapore Cane shot that busts Cobra open! Cobra exits the ring and rushes to the back bleeding after getting his spot in the battle royal at ‘96 Tears.
Kris Kloss: Speaking of the battle royal, we have a trios qualifying match still to come tonight…
*Mr. Pogo Theme plays - "Get Up" Mr. Pogo's FMW Theme*
Victor Quinones comes out from behind the curtain with Mr. Pogo.
Quinones: Onita!! Onita!!! You think you can run from your problems in America?! Onita, you owe a lot of dangerous people a lot of money! Mr. Pogo and I are here to collect! This promotion belongs to me! It was my idea you stole! Sandman! Careful what you wish for! You have never faced anyone as sinister as this man, Mr. Pogo!! Onita!! This is only the beginning!
Quinones walks back behind the curtain with Mr. Pogo as Onita, Sandman and the others share beers while holding up a W*ING USA banner with the crowd cheering on.
Kris Kloss: Folks, we gotta take a break! We’ll be right back!
*Break*
Match - Trios Championship Qualifier:
Dr. Wagner Jr./Super Crazy/Mascarita Sagrada Jr.
vs.
Vampiro/Damian 666/Virus
*Dr. Wagner Jr.’s Theme plays - "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi*
Kris Kloss: We are back with Dr. Wagner, Super Crazy and Mascarita Sagrada Jr. making their way to the ring! The crowd is loving these guys!
Dr. Wagner slaps fives around ringside with fans. A fan hands Dr. Wagner a small child wearing a lucha mask and Wagner holds it up for the crowd.
*Arena lights turn red*
*Vampiro’s Theme plays - "Night of the Vampire" by Roky Erickson*
Terry Funk: These guys are evil, no question about it.
A solid TV match between these six wrestlers. At one point, Vampiro blindsides Sagrada with a superkick that sends him flying off the apron into the guard rail. The mini’s worked in some razzle dazzle and low jinks. Super Crazy finishes the match with a triple moonsault on Damian 666. Dr. Wagner Jr. 's team advances to the battle royal. Super Crazy and Damian 666 will be facing off again one on one at ‘96 Tears in a Turbo Violence Championship 1st round tournament match.
Winner: Dr. Wagner Jr./Super Crazy/Mascarita Sagrada Jr.
*Break*
Kris Kloss: Folks, welcome back to WING TV. Next up, we have a very special look at the legendary Dynamite Kid who is taking on the Great Sasuke at ‘96 Tears. Dynamite Kid has vowed to end his career if he is eliminated from the tournament. Along with the video are some pre-recorded comments by Dynamite Kid.
Dynamite Kid: Sasuke, American fans…I am coming to win the Turbo Violence Championship. My career has had its ups and downs…but at ‘96 Tears, Sasuke, I begin my final chapter by pinning you 1…2…3.
*Cuts back to Kloss and Funk*
Terry Funk: One of the greatest wrestlers to ever live, Kris. I got a bit emotional watching that, I admit.
Kloss: Definitely a major feather in WING’s cap, Terry. I can’t wait for round one of the tournament. Now, changing gears, let’s take a look at Sonny Onoo and his Nightmare Network.
A video plays of Sonny Onoo sitting in an empty movie theater with 3D glasses on watching a horror film. Godzilla is seen on the screen destroying a city in Japan.
Sonny Onoo: Ever since I was a child…I have always been fascinated by horror. The great directors of our time…John Carpenter…Dario Argento…George Romero….
The movie screen Sonny is watching turns into footage of Super Leather, Jason the Terrible, Nightmare Freddy, Crypt Keeper, and Boogie Man terrorizing fans and wrestlers.
Sonny Onoo: But my production is coming to reality… and it is coming for WING USA…and I always get FINAL CUT!!!
*Cuts back to Kloss and Funk*
Kloss: Disturbing words from Sonny Onoo, Terry. Sonny will be representing three entrants in the trios battle royal at ‘96 Tears. Let’s take another break and we’ll be back with our main event of the night, Megumi Kudo versus Alundra Blayze!
*Break*
Match - W*ING USA Women’s Championship:
“Queen of the Deathmatch” Megumi Kudo
vs.
Alundra Blayze
*Alundra Blayze’s Theme plays - "Invincible" by Pat Benatar*
Kris Kloss: Alundra Blayze makes her way to the squared circle as we return on WING TV! Terry, what a historic night this has already been!
Terry Funk: I tell ya, Kris, this show is giving me goosebumps, I know I still got it!
Kloss: Be that as it may, Terry, our main event is about to get underway!
*Megumi Kudo’s Theme plays - "One Way Heart” Megumi Kudo’s FMW Theme*
A classy and clean match takes place as Kudo and Blayze shake hands to start. Both give it everything to win as Blayze gets a close pinfall on Kudo. Kudo shows tremendous fighting spirit throughout and finishes Blayze with the Kudo Driver (Vertebreaker) to win the W*ING USA Women’s Championship! Streamers fly into the ring as referee Steve Corino hands the title to Kudo!
Winner: Megumi Kudo
Kloss: What a beautiful match, what a launch for the Queen of the Deathmatch and WING USA!
Just then, Aja Kong, Shark Tsuchiya and Combat Toyoda rush to the ring and attack Kudo! Victor Quinones walks to the ring clapping his hands.
Kloss: Are you kidding me?! This was an incredible moment for Kudo!
Aja Kong throws Kudo to the canvas as Shark and Combat stomp on Alundra Blayze. Aja picks up Kudo and hits her with a Steiner Screwdriver! The beatdown continues until Hayabusa, Tarzan Goto and others from the locker room rush to the ring and the heels bail out! Hayabusa tends to Kudo and hands her the Women’s Championship and raises the arms of Kudo and Blayze together as the show goes off the air.