PeteF3
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Everything posted by PeteF3
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The scepter is cool, the crown is ridiculous and so lame that it can't even cross back over the line into cool again. Monsoon's "LIAR--YOU GOT LUCKY!" in regards to Owen's victory over Bret is absolutely fucking infuriating. There's the usual Monsoon quirks and then there's the unforgivable shit that belies the idea that he had any goddamn clue how to get over anything at all besides the Brain's quips and his own ego. I'm thinking back to all 4.5 Yearbooks I've watched, trying to remember one other time besides the '92 Rumble where Gorilla actually said something to put a heel over. Bitching aside, this is a very strong promo from Owen, full of rage and fire, actually much better than the KOTR coronation. -
I'm STUNNED, legitimately, that Okerlund doesn't introduce Ted Turner as his "close, longtime personal friend." WCW does go all-out to make this look like a big deal, but it still carries an air of phoniness (especially Gene's fawning intro of Hogan and the tepid applause following) and lacks the WWF's early-'90s slick production values. Cool of Turner to take part in this, though--the dude was always loyal to wrestling and we were all better off for it. Flair is always great in these settings, but I kind of wish we'd gotten cocky and laid-back Slick Ric. He had reason to be that way after vanquishing Sting, but he has to look paranoid and insecure instead.
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Another stiff fight, that takes the intensity of the Clash and ramps it up a notch. You'd like to see a pinfall to finish things off, but Larry going nuts with the umbrella was pretty cool in its own right. Great little footnote to a classic feud. Nice to see Solie get to call one of these matches.
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Hey, let's book a crazy ECW brawl main event and have all the focus on DORY FUNK. I like Dory more than most in the IWC, but goddamn, he fits into this as well as Bob Backlund does. That said, this match makes me unsure if Johnny Grunge ever actually attended a wrestling school. Another shitty-ass finish, even worse than Sabu vs. Cactus, and Styles' cluelessness as to why Paul E. and 911 were there was infuriating. Styles has gotten better, but jeez, they're there because they were paying for PE to take the Funks out. I picked up on this story, you could have done the same thing, Joey. Another shitty, overlong post-match that at least has a cool payoff with Rocco bungee-jumping off the eagle's nest.
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Cactus was clearly working hurt here, to the point where he probably shouldn't have been working at all going by his first book, and it really showed. Call me nuts but as a standalone match I actually thought this was pretty good. Yep, I even liked the waistlock counters and stuff that built to the big insane spots rather than the guys going balls-to-the-wall to start. Kind of reigned Sabu's worst tendencies in, the same way Funk did, even if it was by pure accident due to Jack's injury. That said, it didn't live up to all the pre-match hype and the fans who viewed this as a disappointment probably were right to feel that way. And the ending is pretty cheap. Even the post-match starts out pretty hot, as Jack actually carries 911 to something resembling a watchable sequence, but then it just goes on and on and on with Jack blowing a ton of shit and the involvement of Hughes, Douglas, the Bruise Brothers, 911, and other guys I don't give two fucks about. And that chairshot to 911's head was sickening and not in a good, fun way.
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It's hard to fault WCW too much for this--if the opportunity to sign Hogan is there, I can't fault them for taking it even if leads to a product I don't like. If you've signed Hogan, it only makes sense to go forward with the match that the WWF couldn't pull off. If you go forward with Hogan vs. Flair off the bat, Sting is going to be left out in the cold. All that being said, this set-up does Sting no favors whatsoever. All the pre-match build is on Flair and Hogan, all throughout the match the talk is about how Hogan's affecting Flair, Sting gets his ass kicked by a woman who double-crosses him, etc. I can't really offer a better alternative right now (the idea of having Hogan and Flair as a dream team before building to the match sounds nice in theory--in practice, I think the longer you put the money match off the higher the odds that something goes awry, just as it did in the WWF) but Sting really comes off as ineffective even as he dominates the match. There's really nothing new under the sun here, as these two roll through all their standard spots with Ric getting pretty badly bitched out, until demonstrating his superiority in the most important departments: brainpower and trust. The WCW International title is finally mercy killed and Flair and Sherri put on a pretty awesome post-match attack, before Hogan comes in and bitches Flair out again. Yes, Jerome is 100% right on the Hogan/Sherri altercation and Jimmy Hart's involvement specifically. It's one of numerous issues to come that demonstrate how many ridiculous advantages Hogan always gets. Plus Hart comes off as the little Chester the pup from Looney Toons, to Hogan's Spike the Bulldog. This historic, legendary unification match between WCW's two top all-time legends ends with Hogan's music playing. If that doesn't sum up late-'94 WCW...
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Man, how did I not realize what a blatant ripoff of "Real American" this entrance music was. Noticeable boos for Hulk's promo, which puts over WCW but really says very little. Flair cuts in from the video wall and screams at him. This is very 1998 Crazy Old Man Flair, and he's one breath away from taking off his robe and elbowdropping it. The talk in the Unification Match thread about Flair trying too hard also rings true here. Backstage (or somewhere else pre-taped, most likely) Hulk and Shaq both have words for us. Not that this moves the needle or anything by itself, but Shaq is as good of a celebrity "get" as WCW has had since LT in 1990.
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Dustin has evidently just stepped off the plane after performing in Branson, Missouri. Or he saw Regal's revolutionary get-up and powdered wig and thought, "I can top that." Arn will only team with Dustin if it's going to be the OLD Arn Anderson, which sits just fine with the Natural. Oh, Dustin.
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I loved how they changed up their approach after the mat- and psychology-based matches before. Oh, this had psychology out the ass and some good matwork, but this was a fight with some technical wrestling on the side. The stand-up stuff, especially Zbyszko's punch-and-martial-arts-flurry, are the real highlights. Clever and well-done finish as Sir William reverses a Boston crab attempt and Regal steals a win despite both guys being in the ropes. I'm not ready for this feud to be over yet.
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Well, Boss Man used a nightstick and Akeem shoved the referee. Now the year after that, when the Powers of Pain leveled Hogan with a spike piledriver and *both* got disqualified, after Zeus was (justifiably) DQ'd earlier ("I don't care if you've got a Z on the side of your head or not, that's not legal")...well, Jesse's frothing-at-the-mouth rant summed that up better than I ever could.
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Paul E. does a great job of hyping this as a one-of-a-kind match, with the possibility that one or both men may not survive for a rematch. Holy shit, Sabu speaks! Very good build to this match considering it's just two guys cutting promos on each other, with Jack's being 30 seconds or less. They're letting the match sell itself.
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What a fucking waste. 1994 kiddie booking at its absolute worst. Well, maybe not worse than Doink & Dink. But definitely worse than Santino & Emma. Lawler, God bless him, still finds a way to work in some shots at Stu & Helen. Duke gets off some horribly lame responses before turning to leave, but not before stupidly stopping to acknowledge the crowd. Lawler decks him and destroys him with the garbage can. This being squarely in the family entertainment era, the camera quickly zooms backward and the segment seems to end early. Lawler was actually forced to issue an (in-character) apology for this. As much as we complain about the PG era, the WWE isn't as overly sensitive to violence as it was 20 years ago.
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Well, no Rhodes has ever been burned by asking an Anderson to team with him before. This "wait until the Clash" business doesn't make sense on the surface level, but if I can supply my own fantasy booking I'd like to think Arn went to the Colonel after this and said, "Make me an offer or I take the kid up on his." Hell, maybe this was explicitly explained.
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"You like to play mind games, Jake...let's do it then." DWB is still filled with self-doubt and remorse, but now for the first time it comes off as though Jake is fucked. Jake sans hair is out to rebut, and he finally has the title belt with him. "If this were a battle of wits, I would be fighting an unarmed man." This is one of Jake's strongest SMW promos yet, as he junks the smartassery and is back to being the purely cold-hearted evil bastard who tormented Randy & Elizabeth like he's tormenting Tony & Kimberly. Jake espouses the instant gratification of running with the Devil. Hey, Daryl Van Horne, take note: this is how to cut a promo in the Bible Belt and come off as genuinely believing it rather than a guy trying to say the most shocking thing he can on broadcast TV to get a reaction. They do a pretty masterful job of trying to make sense out of Jake's haircut. The fake Kendo stuff is pretty clever, but it's not quite the hellfire and brimstone brought upon Jake that you might hope for. Tony follows up by taking off his eyepatch, which is a cool moment.
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Missionary Man was definitely a hit, but a lesser one than Sweet Dreams or Would I Lie to You. It was also eight years old and part of an era that Nirvana had more or less wiped out--remember what I said about ECW's use of Fantastic Voyage? The lyrics do at least fit with Christopher's image as a semi-antihero babyface. Lance is backstage with Brian, who vows revenge for a 3-on-1 beatdown at the hands of Doug Gilbert, Tommy Rich, and Dream Machine. Footage follows--holy CRAP, I can't believe Russell wasn't seriously hurt. He went flying farther than a 68-year old man should ever go. The dude's a trooper.
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See, most of the Memphis I saw the first go-round was a.) the McMahon stuff, and b.) stuff from 1995. So I'm used to PG-13 as babyfaces and it was weirder seeing them as heels. They're good enough to work both ways--they're scuzzy and sleazy, but also small and capable of sympathy, with some crowd-pleasing flashy offense. They're forcing Bert Prentice to put up $1,000 to get a tag title rematch before the 30-day deadline, which seems like a dick move for a supposed team of babyfaces. The Eliminators take out their frustrations. Jeff Gaylord, Spike Huber, and the Colorado Kid make for one sad collection of mid-card babyfaces. Bumper footage of PG-13 clobbering some jobber with their hubcap--wait a minute, what the fuck WAS I just saying about these guys working as babyfaces?!
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Almost all WWF lifers in this class. "Manager extraordinaire" James Dudley among them. I guess I don't know why I should be surprised that Backlund was there, but somehow I am. Savage says a few words in his normal voice--which is always jarring, even if as the years go by it got less and less distinguishable from his wrestling voice. Vince in the background seems to be genuinely having a ball. Nice and classy all the way around.
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