PeteF3
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Everything posted by PeteF3
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Constantly referring to Snow as "Al Snow," both names, gets pretty grating when combined with the policy forbidding pronouns. At least he doesn't have a purple-prosey nickname that gets shoehorned in every time. Mankind makes a save after the match and sort of half-heartedly threatens Snow with a chair. -
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"Yo Billy, tell 'em the dilly." X-Pac is just too cool. These are some decent enough wrestling promos, actually, before we get to the Sports-Entertaining. HHH gets Vince's entrance music and strut. Billy Gunn gets HHH some red lingerie ("It looked great on me"), X-Pac gets something similar that will look good on Stephanie (an empty box), and Road Dogg gives him a front-row ticket for Stephanie. HHH makes their match anything-goes, falls-count-anywhere...it wasn't already?
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Larry Walker is in the crowd. I love his "what the hell did I just see?" reaction to the final Mamalukes segment. Liz gets a mudbath, which Heenan justifies because of her $19.95 K-mart dress as opposed to the Package's three-thousand-dollar suit. The Package follows her in courtesy of Sting, a spot that the Package sells and stooges for admirably.
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So apparently Mike Tenay got nailed by a guitar and Okerlund is doing something with the Mamalukes, so Chavo is the new interviewer. Chavo sells Amway with a 555 number and no area code--come ON, guys, can't we be a little more professional and less obvious than that? A real sports-entertainment company would give us a Turner office number or one of the boys' cell phone numbers as a rib. Doc and Oklahoma hype up a cage match against Jerry Only. Oklahoma has ceased even trying to be funny and is now only about the face. JR even in his grouchy vile hateful human being stage today is worth more to the business and more talented than you are, you stupid fuck Ferrara. Okay, I'm not going to recap all of this again since Loss already did it, but yes, these 3-hour Nitros with Russo in charge were just death. I laugh at Mean Gene dancing in the club in spite of myself. I never thought I'd see Juventud Guerrera try to give the Heimlich maneuver to Leilani Kai--then or now. Talk about weird collisions of worlds. Please, please stop making the Nitro Girls try to fight.
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We can't have any focus on those little foreign midgets, we've got Buzzkill and he's got a SIGN! Buzzkill rambles about InfoWars or some such and Schiavone doesn't even attempt to dignify the gimmick, referring to him as "Brad." Buzzkill is Russo's wet dream, a guy who's actively against the idea of wrestling. He says "cat" and "dig" a lot. Tony actually sounds pretty excited to see Liger again and works hard to put him over, but of course none of that matters. Johnny Boone is confused by the idea of Buzzkill merely standing at ringside not doing anything and doesn't see a bunch of glass or tequila on the mat. Five seconds after the bell we're with Chavo Guerrero, Jr. backstage. I may be overreacting but this is a real low in WCW history to this point.
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Jushin Liger's still working regularly and making good money on both sides of the Atlantic, unlike you Russo, you stupid bigot fuck. That might be the worst shit of the first TPTB regime...segueing quickly into some of the best, which is goofball heel Lex Luger. Piper is in a much chippier mood than last week, since he's getting paid. Leilani Kai and Rhonda Singh talk fishnets. Why am I taken aback by Leilani speaking in such a thick southern accent?
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Test coming out to his entrance music in the middle of the authentic-looking ceremony and organ music is still funny. Stephanie's smile was creepy even back in '99. Interesting idea not to have the interruption come right at the "speak now or forever hold your peace" line, even though the crowd is clearly expecting it. Vince had earlier decreed that interruption by any non-family member would result in a firing, but HHH reveals how he nicely gets around that rule. HHH amusingly takes Stephanie to the very same chapel where Col. Robert Parker attempted to marry Sister Sherri. The rest has all been recapped, but yes, this is a "Where were you when...?" moment. HHH plays the cocky-asshole-who's-also-a-little-nervous-to-get-this-over-with role perfectly. The drink server is revealed as the cameraman and the guy who worked to get Stephanie in this position. Such a good payoff that the crowd pops in spite of themselves.
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Stephanie welches on a truth-or-dare and gets saved by a toast. Mae flirts with the server and treats him much better than she did Corey Macklin. Carlos the Electrician shows up to do what he does, as Moolah vainly attempts to hold Mae back, but she makes off with him! Then the server comes back with "one more for the road"...insert dramatic trumpet soundbite here.
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Yeah, that stip doesn't make sense--shouldn't the guy who finishes in last place (or gets beaten in the first round the quickest or whatever) be the one who's tarred and feathered? I'm not sure if the tradeoff would be worth it to fight my way to the finals. Cornette is having too much fun making fun of Bolin--it's not a big crowd, but this gets over and should be good material for Cornette and OVW fans going forward.
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Same with Tim and the other tim here. This was fun, as the Cibernetico formula seems almost foolproof, but that's it--it's a popcorn match. And some of the officiating even by lucha standards was terrible--that extended sequence with Tarzan Boy trying to put Bestia Salvaje away and continually failing was cringeworthy. Still, outside of that the action never stops and you're never more than about 20 seconds away from a new guy coming in to freshen the match up. Good closing sequence with a little more substance to it than the rest of the match. And Negro Casas is still incredible--he might have the best move execution of any wrestler in history.
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HHH serves a restraining order to Vince forcing him to stay 50 feet away from him. Then from there we get a weird non-sequitur back into 1998 DX mode that goes absolutely nowhere. Again, it's an easygoing show, and I know that ratings were going to tank so there's no point in dropping a major angle or even a major match on us, but I feel like they could have come up with something better than this. They bring a bunch of the bums back to Thanksgiving catering where X-Pac yammers about pumpkin pie. Okay, so DX are bad people because they bring a bunch of homeless people to catering and don't let them eat. We get it, guys.
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