PeteF3
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Everything posted by PeteF3
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Michaels bumped like a total maniac here--not just the two bumps on the outside but even for stuff like Perfect's kneelifts and neck snap. Michaels' comeback is absolutely outstanding--he looked better offensively here than he probably ever did as HBK. Why was Heenan not out at ringside to start with? One of a few curious overbooking decisions in this match. -
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Kroffat & Furnas vs. the Steiner Brothers. Especially if Danny gets carte blanche to lay the match out.
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A stunningly intense brawl that's a credit to both guys--Larry Z for working hard, Sting for working hard and willing to give the old guy a bunch of the match, not to mention the win. There are ways for a babyface to get DQ'd that don't make him look like a complete buffoon like in that Eaton match with the Scorpion shit. Sting was a fucking maniac here rather than a dumbass.
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Warrior really, REALLY needs a strong storyline to focus on to be presentable. That's the case here. Warrior brings up the Ultimate Challenge and the destruction of Brother Love in relation to WM7, which are nice touches. Then he makes threats to the Undertaker. Probably not the best Warrior promo but still an impressive one, where he's successfully able to weave together a few disparate storylines into something cohesive.
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Paul E. gives an insanely hyperbolic intro to the Godfather, who claims he was whopping Ron Simmons with a belt "for all the brothers he let down." Wow! They're setting up a Simmons/Missy alliance that I don't think went anywhere, based on Missy being from Tallahassee. Okay-ish segment--I wanted to hear more from Teddy.
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Nice finish, with Jarrett turning a crucifix into a sunset flip for the clean pin and held-up Southern title.
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They're almost hedging their bets here with regard to Lawler's future. I don't think they were seriously thinking of a post-Lawler future, but the vibe is there, even if only to sell tickets this week. This would be the last week of wrestling at the Mid-South Coliseum until August, due to a dispute with arena management. I don't know if that played into this or not, but it makes it harder to verify if Lawler actually took time off or not.
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"Thank God for Kids" was a little much for me, but the clip sequence was incredible, with Lawler beating up pretty much every major star of the '80s. With this, I'd say they were essentially coming out and declaring a title change was imminent.
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I was laughing at Funk's description of Memphis, but when he started up on THAT PERVERT FARGO I was literally in tears. HOW OLD IS THIS INDIVIDUAL?? No matter how ridiculous Funk's claims are--whether it's that he's likely to get mugged in a scumbucket town like Memphis or how ABSOLUTELY TRUE the story is of being contacted by the National Organization of Battered Women over his treatment of Ric Flair--he comes across as believing them 100%. The sign of a dangerous man.
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This match-up seems like a train wreck on paper--the Steiners are all-action with high-impact offense and the 'birds are all about stalling and bumping as safely as possible--but this was shockingly good. The 'birds' tangible disappointment that their clap-along routine goes ignored by the fans cracks me up--that was Super Porky-esque. Then they quickly follow with an awesome transition with Scott ducking under a Garvin clothesline only to get absolutely creamed by one of the greatest Hayes punches ever. They work a full-blown shine/FIP/comeback match in 5 minutes, with Rick giving an assist to Scott as he's being double-teamed, leading to a Frankensteiner on Garvin for the win and tag titles. Rick never did officially tag in. Absolute monster pop for the victory, which adds to the moment.
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Entertaining as hell with more great athletic spots from Super Porky, who now that I've seen a bunch of him has to qualify as one of the all-time great fatty wrestlers. This was basically one very, very long opening shine sequence dragged out to a full match, with most of the technico offense consisting of armdrags and the only asskicking stuff coming from the stooge Brazos, oddly enough. But the spots were so great and intricate that it was still really, realy fun.
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Absolutely outstanding match, on the level of Jarrett vs. Gilbert for the very high-end USWA Texas matches ever. They're continuing to tease Gary Young as an "island unto himself" (tm Gordon Solie) but he and Dundee manage to fake out the heels with what looks like a break-up, only for both of them to level Embry. Embry and Austin provide some surprisingly stiff offense and all the teased comebacks and cut-offs are executed perfectly. Dundee gets the pin shortly after the hot tag, but Embry quickly levels him with a set of handcuffs and both Young and Dundee are cuffed to the ropes and beaten down, drawing in Dr. Tom from the broadcast table to join in. Match of the...first 9 days of the month.
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Heenan is aware of the possibilities of a hidden camera this time, but can't find one, so he proceeds to make more cracks about the Big Boss Man's mother. BBM chases Heenan up to the top of the stairs and cuts a pretty good, intense promo on Mr. Perfect that comes off as pretty out-of-place. They're already teasing a feud with the Mountie, and Heenan makes the mistake of saying, "At least he was raised properly." That leads to a cuffing, and BBM says that Heenan isn't worth having his rights read to him. Pretty sure Heenan could get all of this thrown out, in that case. At the end, Heenan says something that gets bleeped, which Vince has a ridiculous over-the-top reaction to, and that brings out the Big Boss Man's mother herself. That doesn't end well for Heenan.
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This is about as TNT as it gets without actually being TNT. Bearer demonstrates how to embalm a body, with the help of his special embalming fluid, which is in a nearby water cooler. Bearer enjoys removing various gunk being passed off as body parts. And then Heenan starts puking, which freaks out Bearer as it "defiles" his body. Alfred Hayes is brought out as the second cadaver as Vince quizzes Bearer, if I understand correctly, about what to do if the body sprouts an erection during the process. Bearer reassures him that the casket covers up the waist. Holy shit, what am I watching? Bearer declares this body one of his masterpieces and rips out Alfred's sheet. "Alfred, for Christ's sake!" I have no further words to describe this.
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