PeteF3
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Everything posted by PeteF3
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"Yeah, he went home! He went home!" --Dusty with one of my favorite calls ever during one of the greatest match openings ever. I wanted to do an eight-man breakdown of this the way that Loss did for the 1992 edition of this match, but it's 3 a.m. and I'm forcing myself to stay awake to prepare for an overnight shift tomorrow. Maybe later. This is probably the performance of Pillman's life, coming off as the bravest and gutsiest bastard who ever lived. Ross' fawning over Pillman's football accomplishments don't sound remotely cloying or affected--it just seems self-evident. Everyone, even Rick Steiner which surprises me in particular, takes some incredible punishment and bumps throughout, and as usual with such a genius gimmick, there isn't one second of down time at any point. The finish...yeah, the finish. Babyfaces plain and simply didn't submit in those days. Yes, it would have been better for Sting or the Steiners to submit on Pillman's behalf the way Steve McMichael would do some years later, but you keep Gigante involved and keep up the Gigante/Pillman tandem that they were pushing. It could have been better thought out and it's a bad omen of Dusty's booking regime, but I can't say that it's a horrible finish considering how badly fucked up Pillman appears to be, either. It's not like the Horsemen stole the victory. They cover for things afterward pretty well--it was Nick Patrick who made the call, not anyone else. This is my MOTY to this (early) point, or at worst co-MOTY along with Santo/Brazo.
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The Freebirds entrance is possibly the most absurd thing I've ever seen--and that's coming weeks after watching the whole Black Scorpion saga! This is professional wrestling at its absolute least cool. Or in the words of George Carlin, "Freebirds, you ain't cool, you're fuckin' chilly. Chilly ain't never been cool." Reed accidentally clobbers Simmons with brass knucks, leading to a tag title change. How ridiculous that in a promotion that includes the Steiners, Arn & Barry, Doom, and even Morton & Rich, that the Freebirds get booked to hold the belts for any length of time. Simmons is beaten down by the knucks more afterward at Long's behest. There was build, but this split still comes off as rushed--Doom still had a lot to offer to the tag division and there was still mileage in another Doom/Steiners program as well. I can admittedly see the logic in getting behind Simmons as a singles babyface, as the crowd is way into his big spinebuster and powerslam and he has more to offer in the future than Reed would. After all this we get a 12-year old sweepstakes winner whose favorite wrestlers are...Doom. This is some Office levels of awkwardness here, folks.
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Grizzly Smith should not be used on TV in any capacity. Road agents should not be dwarfing the wrestlers and they really shouldn't be dwarfing guys like Luger and Nikita. Koloff is out to present the new U.S. championship belt to Luger, which he does right upside his head. I can't fathom the WWF drawing upon a 4-year old title change to set up a new feud at this point in time, but Nikita makes sure to exposit further motivation--like Terry Funk, he's upset about not being a contender for the World title. Good angle, and the Nikita of old is back, for better or for worse.
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Luger continues his unbelievable PPV hot streak--a better streak than Flair's at this time, in fact. Spivey busts out all kinds of cool offense centered around Lex's neck. Not all of it is executed great but in some cases that just adds to the danger effect. In particular his reverse flying elbow looks absolutely devastating--I daresay more devastating than any Tenryu elbow. Dan works hard but is pretty charismatically challenged--Luger works hard and has the crowd way into this. The end result is one of the great synergy matches in wrestling history.
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Highlight here for me is Ross getting almost legitimately pissed at the brawling surrounding him while at the same time Dusty is positively giddy. This is fun but it ends almost as soon as it really gets going. They were on their way to something really memorable, too. The crowd is way into Vader at the end of this.
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Missy is eager to see what babe she's going to interview--Stan Hansen. That ends well. Per the Observer, this running joke about Missy being the first woman in a wrestling locker room was directly lifted from the Lisa Olson/New England Patriots scandal, which was a relatively major mainstream story at the time. "Mind rape" as wrestling gag fodder, in light of how Missy was often treated by WCW in real life...eh, this is still funny.
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No way could the WWF burn an American flag without pissing off sponors and drawing an even bigger media backlash than the one they got. Nonetheless, Sarge and Okerlund absolutely pound us over the head that this Hogan poster is EXACTLY THE SAME as the flag. Slaughter's assertion that Hogan is a foreign invader who doesn't know what combat is like is a rather neat thing to point out. Big heat for this.
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Tenryu gets the leadoff match announcement! The man is the Forrest Gump of professional wrestling. Hogan's promo, even while invoking POWs and Hussein and scud missiles, is really great and intense. Strong comments follow from Martel, Jake, and yes--the Warrior. I wonder if Warrior was reprimanded for his constant referrals to the "WWF championship belt."
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Teddy's parading of the PWI Manager of the Year Award is getting to Owen Hart Slammy levels. I'm all for it, particularly since he'd have gotten my vote. Simmons brings up his college football credentials and is all about hard work and business, while Reed is out buying cars. The face turn is imminent.
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Embry is now a full-fledged heel in Texas well, aligned with Tojo Yamamoto. He insists that the Sportatorium is still his family, though. I'm going to have to track this angle down. Even Tony Falk gives Embry a public browbeating. Dundee goes NUTS outside the ring, just heaving a chair at him on the floor. There is some great brawling on the floor and great headbutts thrown by Dundee, until Gary Young assaults Dundee and Billy Travis comes out to even the sides. The Embry turn is treated as a really monumental deal, as well it should be. I was surprised at how much more I liked this than Jarrett/Gilbert--this is really one of Embry's better singles matches.
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Another good match in a great feud, though not as good as the excellent first one. I love Gilbert taking Jarrett's leg out as he bumps off of a punch. Some good leg work follows and then a weird finish with James Beard and the timekeeper not sure whether to call for a DQ when Gilbert uses a foreign object. JC the Ice Baby runs in and that's the real DQ, then he calls out Awesome Kong to splash Jarrett's leg. Kong is about to dive off the top turnbuckle but Billy Travis and Bill Dundee make the save. Was not a big fan of Jarrett popping up to slam Kong off the top after his knee had just been splashed twice.
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Piper literally cuts promos for both himself and Virgil. We sort of redo the JYD/Pez Whatley angle from Georgia with Piper slapping Virgil around and forcing him to stand up for himself. Good stuff here. Even though a Virgil/DiBiase feud practically writes itself, Virg was clearly not ready to be on his own in any way.
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Missy Hyatt is booted from the locker room area, ruining her big scheduled interview with Doom, but she gives a report of an incident involving a fan who jumped into the ring. Oh, it turns out he's an "old huntin' buddy" of Tommy Rich. Yeah, buddy, this is the most well-traveled Northwest country boy ever to be BFFs with Kerry Von Erich AND Wildfire. Borne is cast as a total backwoods buffoon in a gimmick that just makes you shake your head. Also, Borne was a multiple-style wrestling talent but "strongman who breaks handcuffs" is NOT a gimmick for him.