PeteF3
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Everything posted by PeteF3
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Cowabunga is called away from TV where he's been gushing over Jeff Gaylord's muscles, The Bold and the Beautiful, babes, and a Jerry Lawler match before being called away by Splinter, who declares that his greatest battle against evil--JEFF GAYLORD--is at hand. Fascinating. God, I hope Splinter appeared at ringside. -
#1 contenders match for the Unified World title live in studio. Gilbert plays a masterful game of hide-the-rope with Jerry Calhoun, and about as soon as we get going the Dirty White Boys hit the ring for the beatdown. DWG hands something to Gilbert, and out comes a fireball that misses Lawler and hits Burton! Between eating a piledriver last week and getting burned now, Burton ought to be near dead. Gilbert declares that it was Lawler who burned Burton and dares he and Dundee to bring their fire and bats to the MSC for the Texas Death Match. Vote Kathryn Swisher for Chancellor of Chancery Court, Part 1!
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Highlights from the big MSC tag. Dundee gets a pin on Anthony after Jerry Calhoun is bumped, but Tom Burton runs in and clocks Dundee and rolls Anthony over on top and a groggy Calhoun awards the match to the heels. Until Lawler, Dundee, and the fans convince him otherwise. Well, he DID count Anthony down and then raised the wrong hand afterward, so I'll buy the fact that Calhoun "reversed" the decision on his own because he isn't really reversing anything. If that makes any sense. Post-match goes about as expected (as Michael St. John tacitly acknowledges on commentary), as the DWB grabs Tessa and re-handcuffs her to the post and releases the Dirty White Girl, who rips off Tessa's top in order to bring some much-needed class to this feud. Lawler comes out and says that Dundee and Tessa are in Texas but have sent in a videotape, and that brings out Gilbert & the DWBs. As they're ragging on Lawler for being so stupid as to show up in studio without help, we and the heels get SWERVED as Dundee suddenly comes running in with two baseball bats and the brawl is on with the heels getting run off. This Monday is the same stip as before except that Tom Burton will be handcuffed as well as the valets. Lawler and Dundee more or less spell out that the Dirty White Girl will get stripped naked. Gilbert and the DWBs come out for an awesome psychotic heel interview demanding that the bout be a Texas Death Match. Gilbert brings up his burning of Lawler years ago and promises to bring out some things that you thought might have gone away. Kimberly even cuts a pretty decent promo by her own standards. Great studio segment.
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Something else from 1990 that absolutely floored me when I saw it. I was no insider but I knew Sarge had disappeared from WWF television rather suddenly and that it was a departure on bad terms. But he was back--and as a heel, no less. I think "'80s relic who can't handle the fact that the Cold War is over" was actually a brilliant gimmick and it's really too bad they had to ruin it by hitching him to the Gulf War.
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Yeah, this was a really drawn out squash. But a well-done one. There really is build to Toyota finally getting something in on Bull, as she has to back off and re-strategize, and then finally gets some offense in by diving at her from the top. Manami never really does get a "run," though, as she's constantly getting cut off including on a plancha to the floor just when it looked like she had something going. Toyota gets absolutely destroyed at the finish, taking a second sick lariat bump and then getting dropped on her head for the closing powerbomb. This is as monstrous as I've seen Bull look (which isn't exactly a ton) but she threw in other stuff like the Northern Lights and attempted diving legdrop without compromising any of that.
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And THIS is the USWA-Texas segment of the year so far. A much hotter start and the work in the chinlock/sleeper is much better. Austin takes some loony bumps to the floor and there are some great moves done by both guys, plus Toni finally gets some shots in on a helpless Jeannie which is long overdue. It's great that there's some actual psychology surrounding the catfights with Toni's perpetually injured ribs. One catfight spills onto the announcer's desk and Percy Pringle accidentally gets decked, leading to him grabbing Toni and imploring Jeannie to hit her. Chris Von Erich makes the save on Percy, Austin ties Adams in the ropes and goes after Chris, Jeff Jarrett makes the save for Chris, and Iceman Parsons comes out to attack Jarrett. Absolutely awesome stuff all around.
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I'm sure these come off better when spaced out. These aren't as good as the Rude promos but in some ways I actually mind them less because we at least had a strong angle to kick this feud off, and this is just sort of bonus material. The Rude vignettes are promos in search of a feud--something beyond Rude beating the Warrior a year and a half earlier.
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This is a surprisingly intense brawl that was really getting going until a cheap over-the-top-rope DQ. Caudle even acknowledges that Hansen & Rich were partners at one point, which is a nice nod to history. I groaned at the finish at first, then Hansen nails Pee Wee Anderson with a lariat and throws a tantrum in the ring before leveling Rich with the cowbell, and it hits me that he must have an All-Japan tour lined up. Nick Patrick announces that Hansen has been suspended for 30 days and fined $5,000. Hansen goes nuts and runs both Ross and Patrick off before taking his frustrations out on the interview set. NOBODY POTATOES SUSPENDS ME!
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Pretty cheap to hype the stip of having two referees only for Downtown Bruno to singlehandledly make chaos anyway. A distraction allows Snowman to roll Lawler up for the victory and then the DWBs and Wild Things hit the ring for another beatdown of Lawler. Snowman lurks in the background for awhile, then suddenly comes to the aid of Lawler & Dundee. It's not quite the MegaPowers, but it's a pretty stirring moment in and of itself. Snowman's interview is interrupted and--dear God in heaven--Snowman vs. Jeff Gaylord is signed as a Unified World title match for Monday. THIS IS GONNA BE THE BIGGEST MELDOWN SINCE THE CHERNOBYL NUCLEAR PLANT IN RUSSIA, Y'KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?? Regardless of Snowman's claims that this will be "one of the most exciting championship matches of all-time"...forget JYD/Soultaker, this is the Worst Theoretical Match-Up That Actually Happened. Or may have happened, depending on when Snowman walked out.
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After the events of Monday night, Tessa and the Dirty White Girl will both be handcuffed to their respective turnbuckles and the winning team's valet can do whatever they want to the loser. Both valets basically promise to strip the other and this is possibly the sleaziest match stip of the pre-Monday Night War era. Lawler has illegally taken out two of Tony Anthony's partners with the piledriver. John Tatum laments the fact that his 86-year old mother can't eat because doctors say he'll be on the shelf for 6 months. Anthony laments his own situation until Eddie Gilbert comes out to set things right. It's Anthony & Gilbert vs. Lawler & Dundee Monday at the Coliseum.
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Anthony looks good, giving us a dropkick in addition to all of his other crisp offense. The DWBs continue beating down their opponents after the match until Jerry Lawler walks tall with a baseball bat. I liked Lawler's savate kick to set up the piledriver on Burton--don't think I've seen that out of him.
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Gilbert accuses Dave Brown and Jerry Lawler of having his $5,000. Mark Curtis makes an appearance, as a Gilbert fan pulled out of the crowd for a picture, only to get socked in the face as Gilbert accuses him of having the money as well. I suspect this isn't the last of Gilbert's paranoid Ricky Roma act.
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The Hart Foundation continue to express their plans to regain the Tag Titles and bring up that tag teams are supposed to be 2-on-2. Demolition comes out and Ax points out that the Hart Foundation are the only team to come with built-in excuses before losing a match. The Harts make an impromptu challenge, 3-on-2 for the titles, but make the mistake of turning their backs when they head to the ring, and pay for it.
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I guess this is as close as we'll get to seeing Lawler vs. Snowman in full. Another bit of Redneck UWFI but even more surprising coming from Jarrett and Parsons. It's good stuff but I can't stress enough how much more compelling Lawler/Snowman was--that wasn't just a shoot-style fight, it was a fight between two guys who plausibly hated each other's guts and were truly fighting for something. This is a shoot-style fight between two guys who were booked to have a shoot-style fight. Same finish as the initial Snowman matches as Parsons slugs the referee and the match gets thrown out. Parsons makes threats towards "Jessica" after the match. ROOTY-POOT~! is uttered. A Snowman interview is hyped, with him holding the Unified belt. Oh, NOW we're acknowledging the Memphis title changes?
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Fuchi and Kikuchi always have a great dynamic together and I really love how this is worked like a Big Man vs. Little Man match even though it's two juniors and Fuchi doesn't even do a whole lot of power spots. I get Loss' point about bombs that aren't--the holds are worked so long and intensely, especially the Boston crabs, that any kind of big move comes off as a "bomb," even though neither guy has a lot of those in their arsenal. Kikuchi gets to kick out of the backdrop suplex, so Fuchi has to resort to a German to put the fucker away.
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This was pretty meandering and Flair-vs.-Sting by numbers for about 3/4 of the way, with Sting doing way too much no-selling for my taste, especially for all of Flair's chops. Overbooking aside I got into the Dudes with Attitudes forming a human wall to stave off the Horsemen and the finish was pretty well put-together and Sting's victory is a genuinely cool moment. The victory speech definitely felt flat. I'd rather listen to it than the Warrior's talk of Normals but yeah, he gushed over Flair a little too much for what was supposed to be a hateful feud.
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