PeteF3
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Everything posted by PeteF3
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I actually think Ross' statements about Cornette's weight are much more constant and annoying, not to mention hypocritical. You can be heterosexual (or Nancy-sexual, maybe) and still be a wimp. God help us if JR and Ronnie P. Gossett ever worked for the same outfit (Gossett was also gay, though that was never part of his character that I've seen). -
Eh. It's as much a "Cornette's a pathetic wimp" crack as it is a crack about Cornette the character's orientation (and Jim is expressing rather shockingly heterosexual tendencies on this yearbook). Cornette is so physically weak that he competes on a woman's level because that's all he can do.
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Leon Spinks is Snowman's hand-picked referee. More shoot-style fighting between the two, but when Lawler cradles Snowman up for a count, Spinks pulls Lawler off instead of counting. After getting in Lawler's face again, Spinks KOs him and fast-counts the pin, giving the Snowman the Unified World title. Lawler comes out with LEON STINKS drawn on his shirt and makes a crack about Snowman having his hand out "like he does in the welfare line." This is a VERY split crowd, even as Lawler is coming off as more babyface-ish. Spinks sends in a fascinating (and clearly edited post-hoc) promo that makes the Warrior look absolutely lucid. "Ith you ready to go?" as Lawler puts it. Highlights follow of Spinks' upset title win over Ali, the biggest boxing upset ever prior to Douglas-Tyson. The intro of "Here's some footage of Spinks when he was in his prime" cracks me up as much as the Spinks promo.
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I THINK that's Warrior's real daughter. This is the WWF attempting rather rapidfire damage control, as they realized--apparently after the fact--that kids were afraid to be around the Warrior as opposed to Hogan. And why wouldn't they? I certainly wouldn't want to approach the Warrior in an airport or outside an arena so I can get a lecture on LIFTING THE FILM OVER MY EYES. I quite liked being a Normal, thank you. So we get Warrior interacting with and praising and hugging a kid to try to mitigate that. But it just doesn't work--Warrior talks about the love that the Little Warriors have for him but still comes off as a nut when talking about Rick Rude or antagonizing Brother Love. And here is the fundamental difference between Warrior as a company ace and Hogan...or anyone else. Hogan was loud and super-intense at times, but he was a guy who happened to be loud and intense. He was also capable of talking normally, of displaying a sense of humor, of showing vulnerability, etc. etc. etc. Rock, Austin, and Cena were obviously the same way. Warrior was never anything except the Warrior, 100% of the time. What baffles me is why or how the powers that be didn't realize this before hitching their wagon to him and attempting to do something about it then. It was a rather obvious problem before WM6 and the build-up to it only exacerbated it.
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Shameless as all hell, from the blinking "HULK RULES" which comes off as downright sinister, to the funereal string version of "Real American," to the worried children with Hulk Hogan Friendship BraceletsTM, to the cool shot of Hogan's t-shirt and crucifix hanging in a locker (which real sports teams usually reserve for dead teammates) with the door slamming shut on it to close things out. Not that it's not completely brilliant at the same time. This went a long way to saving an angle that came off incredibly flat live.
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I didn't think much of the rudos (or Aguilita) until the third fall, actually, when everyone stepped their game up and the rudos came up with about eleventy billion new miscommunication spots. Before then Sagrada was working on another level from everyone else. Fun post-match too, with full-sized rudos executing a big beatdown until the technico counterparts make the save, with Mascarita getting a measure of revenge by leveling Fuerza Guerrera with a plancha. Fuerza, God bless him, sells it like a gunshot.
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I thought the middle of this dragged as badly as any other UWF match I've been cold on, but the opening was really hot with Takada basically suckering Maeda into getting anklelocked, and the closing sequence was tremendous. We get that same "impending dread" feeling with Maeda about to hit the capture suplex which will surely finish Takada off. Takada manages to slip out of the frying pan right into the fire, and has nowhere else to go when Maeda kneebars him.
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Fantastic aggressive opening from Toyota just pounding the shit out of Hotta in the corner, then tossing in a "Fuck you, Hokuto" dive *over* the guardrails. This turns into a really fun clash of styles between Hotta's kicks and suplexes and Toyota going back to her go-go-go style after the opening flurry. Big trading of near-falls towards the end and Toyota ekes out a victory. Yeah, I had a lot of issues with the execution towards the end as these girls did not seem to be on the same page at all at that point. Not in a "this didn't look cooperative enough" sense but with weird moments like Toyota just letting go of a Northern Lights suplex instead of Hotta kicking out of it. The holds also lost me, but maybe that's because it's 2 am. You can't accuse the ladies of using "restholds" and Toyota is so ridiculously flexible that routine submissions look absolutely deadly. But...they did go on for awhile. Good match with Hotta really bringing something different to the table as far as 1990 joshi goes and Toyota working outside of her comfort zone, but there is no way this is a MOTY contender. EDIT: Good action in the post-tournament highlight reel, but hey, let's add a fucking slo-mo of Hokuto destroying her leg. Stay classy, AJW.
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Goodness, that was uncomfortable. Dueling crowd chants to start, which is actually organic and not two smark factions trying to get themselves over. Toyota levels Hokuto with dropkick after dropkick to start but goes to the well once too often and ends up in a Boston crab. The crab actually goes a LITTLE long for my tastes (and this was before I knew the finish) though you certainly can't accuse either girl of laying in the hold. Hokuto attempts a dive to the floor and her leg slams into the guardrail in a brutal spot, and the match has to be thrown out. Hokuto is crying hysterically and Toyota looks like she's about to do the same, and Hokuto is pretty adamant about continuing against all reasonable logic. Listening to the Bengals game on the way home from work I heard Boomer Esiason talk about coaches sometimes needing to "save players from themselves," and I kept waiting for someone in authority to do that with Hokuto and just get a stretcher for the woman and get her out of there. Eventually she concedes and limps to the back.
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Tatum dodges a dropkick in the corner by Todd Overbow who crotches himself on the turnbuckle. Tatum profusely apologizes for this and rather guiltily pins him. He gives him an apologetic hug after the match, then superkicks him when he turns his back. Then he takes exception to a ringside fan calling him a jerk and fucking HEAVES Overbow directly at the fans. And he didn't throw him "into the crowd," he threw him AT people--presumably honest-to-God paying fans. Then Tatum apologizes again and runs to the back. Now I'm really wishing we could see what Jerry Jarrett could do on a national stage, at least when he still had some zip on his booking fastball. The Memphis and Texas promotions are putting out what are easily the two most fascinating angles of the moment.
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Fritz Von Erich's horsefaced son was carried out last night with a bad neck. Kerry's last match for the promotion was 7/7, as I remember reading the other day--Pringle hypes up another Kerry/Borne match, then declares that Chris Von Erich can have his debut match against him and produces a set of Chris' first wrestling trunks which is basically a thong. Pringle's bug-eyed act is so much better now that he's playing a nutcase for a rather low-rent promotion than trying to act as the dignified manager of a "World Champion." IT'S YOUR FAULT OLD WOMAN, IT'S YOUR FAULT PUNK, IT'S YOUR FAULT FRITZ, IT'S YOUR FAULT DORIS.
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Austin is getting better on the mic, though he's not really comfortable when it comes to spinning a yarn--he's better interacting with the crowd or abusing Craig Johnson. Jeannie reminds the women watching that she doesn't get her dresses from Kmart or Target, and asks how they feel when they look in the mirror and see what they ate for breakfast hanging off of them.
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A whole lot to digest here. Akbar doesn't exactly aim high if he's "dreamed at night" that Jeff Jarrett & Jeff Gaylord is the greatest tag team of all-time. Jarrett suckers Akbar into doubling his signing bonus to become the newest member of Devastation Inc. Jarrett is immediately swapped in for Sheik Braddock in a tag match later on, against Billy Joe Travis and somebody named Usher. I've heard stories but it really is indescribable how awful Jeff Gaylord is. Jarrett talks him into posing for everyone and gets him open for a shot to the jaw, which leads to an alleged Travis pin, even though Travis hops up and starts celebrating after Bronko Lubich has barely counted one. Then later Brickhouse Brown revealed that he got Akbar to pay him $15,000 because he's the leader of the Uptown Posse, and Reggie B. Fine and Sweet Daddy Falcone work for him. That doesn't go well for Brickhouse as the beatdown is on, and yeah, I had trouble figuring who the heel was supposed to be also. The two-on-one and Akbar's attempted burning of the cigar I guess clarifies that, as Jeff Jarrett makes the save. Akbar and Brazelle negotiate for the upcoming Sportatorium card: Jarrett and Brickhouse will put up $5,000 apiece in a tag match if Akbar puts up $10,000 of his own, winner take all. Then a Craig Johnson insert to tell us that Brickhouse Brown will not make the card due to the death of his father. Jeff Jarrett is then facing somebody in Devastation Inc. and I guess Johnson had another assignment because Percy Pringle is back doing the announcing and is doing it as a babyface(!) again. Jarrett gets the pin but all of Devastation Inc. swarms him afterward. Chico Torres comes into the ring and RUBS HOT SAUCE into Jarrett's eyes. They sell this about as well as they can as a fan provides Billy Travis with water to soak a towel with, and I know the pain of getting habanero pepper residue in the vicinity of the eye, but...yeah. Kind of a weak-sauce angle (ducks tomatoes).
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Lawler promises to expose the Snowman as a bum again, and for good measure says he'll knock what's left of Leon Spinks' teeth down his throat if he gets in his way. Spinks milked that "Man Who Beat Ali" rep for all it was worth. "You couldn't beat me if you had a knife and a gun, which you probably do." That gets the crowd going, and Snowman produces a hubcap to class this segment up some more. Snowman is a lurking threat outside the ring for Lawler's subsequent match, and eventually hops in and another shoot-looking brawl erupts. Eddie Marlin and security break it up and Lawler is escorted to the back. The action is still awesome but I liked this feud a lot more when Lawler and Snowman were two guys with a fundamental disagreement instead of Lawler being an arrogant heel and Snowman being whatever he's supposed to be now.
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Lawler has Downtown Bruno, Ronnie P. Gossett, *and* Reggie B. Fine in his corner. That's enough to distract Kerry long enough for Lawler to torch Snowman with a fireball and get the eventual 3-count. More redneck UWFI and they actually manage to work a freaking fireball spot into this seamlessly! Lawler's really tight cradle still gives off the shoot vibe.
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