May 7, 200916 yr comment_5439214 I always loved the way Prime Time opened: Gorilla: This is Gorilla Monsoon Heenan: ...and your host, Bobby Heenan
May 12, 200916 yr comment_5439369 Navy SEAL Jesse Ventura volunteers to waterboard Cheney. Video. KING: You were a Navy SEAL. VENTURA: That’s right. I was water boarded, so I know — at SERE School, Survival Escape Resistance Evasion. It was a required school you had to go to prior to going into the combat zone, which in my era was Vietnam. All of us had to go there. We were all, in essence — every one of us was water boarded. It is torture. KING: What was it like? VENTURA: It’s drowning. It gives you the complete sensation that you are drowning. It is no good, because you — I’ll put it to you this way, you give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I’ll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders. It shows my age, but the line about the Tate murders had me on the floor. John
June 11, 200916 yr comment_5440555 The Macho Man Randy Savage is bad to the bone! And I got a heart made of stone right now. And Im liviiiiing on the edge of lightning bolt and I do not apologize for that! - Macho Man
July 10, 200916 yr comment_5441754 WCW Bash at the Beach 1994, Steve Austin is wrestling Ricky Steamboat. Steamboat knocks Austin off the apron and onto the arena floor. Bobby Heenan: "Okay, now they should give him a twenty-minute rest." Tony Schiavone: "Yeah. [long pause] A what?
August 18, 200916 yr comment_5442969 "You got pretty much the most important man in the world standing right here and you wanna talk to HER?!" - Randy Savage, to Gene Okerlund
August 18, 200916 yr comment_5442970 "Ric Flair, you are proof that most white people ain't got no rhythm." -- Dusty Rhodes For some reason imagining Dusty saying this is the funniest thing ever to me.
February 11, 201015 yr comment_5447747 During the Guerrero/Ohtani match from Starrcade '95: Schivone: He's got until the count of five to break the hold. Heenan: He's a stranger to our country, I think he should get a bit longer than five. Schivone: How long, Brain? Heenan: 30 or 35. During the 1990 Royal Rumble after Warrior was eliminated and then ran back in and attacked the heels. Schivone: He's a wild man! Ventura: He's an idiot!
February 11, 201015 yr comment_5447748 During the Guerrero/Ohtani match from Starrcade '95: Schivone: He's got until the count of five to break the hold. Heenan: He's a stranger to our country, I think he should get a bit longer than five. Schivone: How long, Brain? Heenan: 30 or 35. That reminds me of the Hogan-Sarge WM7 match... After a two-count for Slaughter: Heenan: You know, in Iraq, you only have to count to 2. Monsoon: Well, we're not in Iraq!
February 11, 201015 yr comment_5447749 WrestleMania VI, Hogan traps Warrior in a front-facelock. Gorilla Monsoon: "What a punishing hold this is!" Jesse Ventura: "Absolutely, just ask Richard Belzer." WWE edited that line out of every release of the match until the WM XVIII bonus features.
April 10, 201015 yr comment_5449310 "You talk about Impact! Impact heard round the world. Impact heard in 48 hundred million . . .uhm. . .countries around the world!" -- Dusty Rhoads, in the ring with Tenay, the very first TNA Impact show
April 14, 201015 yr comment_5449561 From Brad Armstrong's shoot interview, after he accidentally opened up a huge gash on Steve Williams' eye. "DOC. . . I'M SORRY!"
December 3, 201014 yr comment_5459221 Johnny Polo: Were you an arm wrestler, Gorilla? Gorilla Monsoon: Yes I was. J.P.: How were you? G.M.: I used to eat guys like you for breakfast. J.P: Yeah, but how'd you do at arm wrestling?
December 5, 201014 yr comment_5459409 I forget which match it was (I want to say it was Warrior-Rude but I think I'm wrong) but it was definitely SummerSlam 89 after a chair shot outside the ring. Jesse Ventura: "Now why isn't that a disqualification?" Tony Schiavone: "It took place outside the ring." Ventura: "So it's OK to grab a gun and shoot your opponent as long as you do it outside the ring?"
December 5, 201014 yr comment_5459412 I'm pulling these from memory but I know they are on the Ric Flair DVD sets WWE put out. Flair, to Tony Schiavone & David Crockett: "That's why this jacket cost $1000 and this [schiavone's] cost $500...[grabs Crockett's] and I don't know how much this cost but I'd be ashamed to wear it!" Flair again: "My shoes cost more than your house!" Flair, on wrestling an African-American jobber: "I don't wrestle guys like this, I employ them."
December 5, 201014 yr comment_5459413 Jerry Lawler (several times, most notably to Andy Kaufman): "I couldn't warm up to you if we were cremated together."
December 7, 201014 yr comment_5459904 Johnny Polo: Were you an arm wrestler, Gorilla? Gorilla Monsoon: Yes I was. J.P.: How were you? G.M.: I used to eat guys like you for breakfast. J.P: Yeah, but how'd you do at arm wrestling? Yes! This is during the Shawn Michaels/Jannetty cage match on the bloodbath DVD that's a great Zucker Brothers-esque line from Raven
December 7, 201014 yr comment_5459905 Polo: What kind of wrestling did you do, Gorilla? Monsoon: Greco-Roman, Freestyle. . . Polo: Any mud wrestling? Hot Oil? Monsoon: No. Polo: Banana wrestling? Monsoon: Stop. Polo: Even though it was invented by your relatives?
December 7, 201014 yr comment_5459910 I don't know if they ever worked together, but I think Gorilla would have been great with Cornette on commentary.
January 20, 201114 yr comment_5462465 From GAB '92 Ventura: [speaking about Liger] "That is an ugly mask. He looks like The Predator." Ross: ...
January 23, 201114 yr comment_5462724 "I think you're talking out of your rear end because your head would know better!" - Lawler to Doug Gilbert, USWA 1996
January 24, 201114 yr comment_5462829 From GAB '92 Ventura: [speaking about Liger] "That is an ugly mask. He looks like The Predator." Ross: ... He said something similar during the Liger/Pillman match at that year's SuperBrawl.
January 28, 201114 yr comment_5463319 From the Raven/Axl Rotten shoot interview. Axl talks about why his WCW stint was cut short : Raven : So, what happened in WCW ? Axl : Grizzly Smith was not a fan of me, at all. Raven : You weren't a 12 year old girl. Axl : Yeah... And really, he fucked me, man... Raven : So, you were a 12 year old girl.
August 20, 201114 yr comment_5480289 Dusty Rhodes You should have made it a point to get both of em daddy. Don't just get one. Don't take one limb. Don't take one arm. Don't take one ear and don't take one eye. If Sting has to carry me on his back, damn it all. If he has to drag me in a wagon. I'm breathin, you hear what I'm sayin. You should of got it done!!! Its violence for the sake of violence!!! Now I will turn it around!!! To my violence!!! My lightning bolt!!! My fire!!! My thunder!!! An eye for an eye...
August 21, 201114 yr comment_5480364 Just saw this last night, and I thought I'd share it here. (although most in these parts have probably seen it, and I can't possibly do it justice, but it's so freaking hilarious) It's from the Flair shoot interview. Basically Flair is telling a story about how cool Harley Race was. As an example he details a locker room discussion between a very young Curt Hennig and Race concerning an upcoming match between the two (I'm paraphrasing): Hennig (in a squeaky teen voice): "Um, Mr.Race, what do you want to do about the finish to our match?" Race: (takes a drag from a cigarette): "What's your finisher kid?" Hennig: "Um, an elbow off the top rope" Race: (takes another drag from a cigarette): "I'll move"
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