For X-mas, my wife gave me some subscriptions to several magazines, including SPIN. Well, this month;s issue has several lists. I'll list some that I either think are funny or that I think can create conversation. If the thread survies, I'll post more lists

 

The Ten BEst One-Album Bands

1. The Sex Pistols

2. The La La La's

3. The Modern Lovers

4. Minor Threat

5. X-Ray Spex

6. Germs

7. The Sun and the Moon

8. The Titanics

9. Young Marble Giants

10. Operation Ivy

 

Does anyone have anyone else they could add to this list?

 

The 5 Best Books Actually Written by Musicians

1. The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way) by Bill Drummond and Jimmy Caulty

2. Hollywood Rock by Marshall Crenshaw

3. Chronicles, Volume One by Bob Dylan

4. On the Road With the Ramones by Monte A. Melnick and Frank Meyer

5. Rotten: No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs by John Lydon (Johnny Rotten)

 

I own the last one and it is one helluva book.

 

Four Amazing Rock websites

 

1. bandtoband.com

2. amiright.com/parody

3. dinosaurdays.co.za

4. clubbo.com

 

I haven't visited any of these so I may give them a try.

 

Ten Best Two-Album bands

1. Joy Division

2. The Stone Roses

3. The New York Dolls

4. Radio Birdman

5. Slint

6. The Stilts

7. Eat

8. Compulsion

9. The Rentals

10. Toadies

 

Seven Worst Rock Replacement Singers

1. Sammy Hagar replacing David Lee Roth (Van Halen)

2. Gary Cherone replacing Sammy Hagar (Van HAlen)

3. Johnny Van Zant replacing Ronnie Van Zant (Lynyrd Skynyrd)

4. John Tristao replacing John Fogerty (Creedence Clearwater Revival)

5. Ian Astbury replacing Jim Morisson (The Doors)

6. John Corabi replacing Vince Neil (Motley Crue)

7. Jim Belushi replacing John Belushi (the Blues Brothers)

 

Seven Reasons Michael Jackson is Bad, according to his song

1. Your butt is his

2. He's gonna hurt your mind

3. He knows your game and what you're about

4. If you don't like what he's sayin' you can slap his face

5. The whole world has to answer him right now

6. He's smooth

7. Woo! Woo! Woo!

 

Ten coolest Dudes in Rock History (at each one's lamest point)

1. Elvis Presley (dying on a toilet, 1977)

2. Bob Sylan (releasing Saved, his second, and most depressing, Christian album, 1980)

3. Lou Reed (Helping to produce a Billy Squire album, 1991)

4. Sly Stone (receiving more attention for cocaine bust than release of comeback single "Eek-Ah-Bo-Static Automatic", 1987)

5. Jimi Hendrix (allowing "manager/producer" Alan Douglas into his life, therefore guaranteeing his exploitation for decades, 1969)

6. Jimmy Page (prancing with David Coverdale in a video, 1993)

7. David Bowie (starting a mime troupe, 1969)

8. Keith Richards (joining the cast of Pirates of the Carribean sequel, 2004)

9. Kurt Cobain (Krist Noveselic revealing that Kurt never actually lived under a bridge, 2001)

10. Andre 3000 (allowing 'Hey Ya!' to be co-opted by the Golden Globe Awards, 2004)

 

Eight Excruciating Career Makeovers

1. Garth Brooks- as tortured rocker Chris Gaines

2. New York Dolls- as hammer and sickle waving Communists

3. Hootie and the Blowfish's Darius Rucker- as BUrger King cowpoke

4. Dee Dee Ramone- as white rapper Dee Dee King

5. Courtney Love- as Versace model-cyborg

6. MC Hammer- as pimped-out gangsta

7. Vanilla Ice- as dreadlocked reggae gangsta

8. Billy Idol- as dreadlocked cyberpunk

 

Seven Professional Athletes who Tried to Make It As Musicians

1. Shaquille O'Neal

2. Carl Lewis

3. Scott Radinsky

4. Ron Artest

5. Jack McDowell

6. Alexi Lalas

7. Oscar De La Hoya

 

*They forgot Roy Jones Jr.!

 

Nine Album Titles more compelling than the Actual Album

1. 45 or 4 Songs that Weren't Good Enough to Go on Our Other Records, NOFX

2. Everyone Who Pretended to Like Me Is Gone, The Walkmen

3. Pictures of Starving Children Sell Records, Chumbawumba

4. Everyone Wants to Shag...The Teardrop Explodes, The Teardrop Explodes

5. My Pain and Sadness is More Sad and Painful Than Yours, mclusky

6. This Conversation Is Ending Starting Right Now, Knapsack

7. Hairway to Steven, Butthole Surfers

8. Hitler Bad, Vandals Good, the Vandals

9. Toolin' for A Warm Teabag, the Dwarves

Heh, I had a subscription to SPIN. I paid a dollar for it. Yes, a dollar. Bought it on eBay. And it was one of the worst dollars I ever spent. It's tied with my subscription to Interview, which I also bought on eBay. I never got much out of SPIN...other than a few clever pictures I saw. That was it. It seems, to me, that SPIN is trying too hard to be cool and alternative.

 

I will say this:

1. Sammy Hagar replacing David Lee Roth (Van Halen)

I couldn't disagree with it more.

 

Myself? I *LOVE* Sammy Hagar. I find him to be so much better to listen to than David Lee Roth. Of course, I like ballads/love songs better, so...

 

David Lee Roth always got on my nerves. Granted, they had some good songs with Roth, but the Hagar years produced more hits, in my opinion.

Oh man, I loved David Lee Roth. Sammy Hagar was trying to change the world and failing; David Lee Roth was trying to have a good time and succeeding.

Seven Professional Athletes who Tried to Make It As Musicians

1. Shaquille O'Neal

2. Carl Lewis

3. Scott Radinsky

4. Ron Artest

5. Jack McDowell

6. Alexi Lalas

7. Oscar De La Hoya

 

*They forgot Roy Jones Jr.!

They also forgot Allen Iverson.

Oh man, I loved David Lee Roth. Sammy Hagar was trying to change the world and failing; David Lee Roth was trying to have a good time and succeeding.

Man, it isn't about failing or succeeding. It's about who had the better voice and songs, to me anyways. And that is Sammy.

The Seven Reasons Michael Jackson is Bad list made me laugh.

The Michael Jackson one was funny.

 

But the "one album / two album" thing was a swizz. Joy Division released three (Closer, Unknown Pleasures and Still) and the Sex Pistols released at least two. Ho hum.

Well, with the Sex Pistols, the original lineup only released the Never Mind the Bullocks album. I don't think they were counting the Great Rock N Roll Swindle or anything.