Yes, I started this thread just to have an excuse to use that as the topic header.

• WWE Championship: John Cena © vs. CM Punk
• King of the Ring Final: Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes
• Queen of the Ring Final: Asuka vs. Jade Cargill
• United States Championship: Jacob Fatu © vs. Solo Sikoa
• Street Fight: Rhea Ripley vs. Raquel Rodriguez
• Singles Match: Sami Zayn vs. Karrion Kross

6 minutes ago, Dav'oh said:

Pretty sure I just watched Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton do nothing for half-an-hour. In my defence, it was half-time of Botafogo and Palmeiras.

I thought it was just me, maybe I'm tired, but I guess not.

Very, shall we say, "methodical" match.

I thought Zayn vs. Kross was fun.

Kross is more interesting with his character work and facial expressions now than he ever was in NXT as a Temu Goldberg-Orton hybrid - AND he took flat back bumps (so much for that dumb rumor).

My teefies hurt so I'm still awake at 5am.

Everything Sami touches is funny. El Generico was funny. Honorary Uce was funny. People thinking the guy who lost to Johnny Knoxville should beat Roman Reigns was funny. Sami in Saudi Arabia is funny.

*Yes, I'm only here to piss on the product. It's five am and my teefies hurt, as stated.

Dental pain is no joke! I hope you can get to Britt Baker or one of her assistants soon, @Dav'oh.

Cheers mate. Fuck the dental lobby for successfully campaigning to exclude fucking teeth from Medicare (as universal healthcare is called here).

In theory, the pain of seeing Cena vs Punk should override the toothache, so there's light.

Oh wait! It's Jade Cargill. That'll do the trick.

Awesome Glacier-like entrance for Jade though.

But I hope Asuka wins. Asuka vs. Iyo is a much more interesting match.

9 minutes ago, C.S. said:

But I hope Asuka wins. Asuka vs. Iyo is a much more interesting match.

Yeah, so much for that...

I'm assuming there's better women than Jade in NXT, but they spent so much money on her they put her Diva-era-esque talents on the big show.

Looked like she fucked the finish, too.

The Saudi crowd shares our apathy towards her and her promo.

1 minute ago, Dav'oh said:

Looked like she fucked the finish, too.

I hope it's on purpose so Asuka can claim she pinned Jade (with the way Jade positioned the pin, Asuka's feet were on Jade's chest) and the match at SummerSlam becomes a three-way, which would only help its quality.

No-one:

WWE: Goldberg vs Gunther

I can handle GUNTHER vs. Goldberg as a throwaway main event for Saturday Night's Main Event as long as GUNTHER wins and Goldberg retires on a good note. I see no harm in it. Anything more than that, though...  

So... the fans are doing Sami's Ole chant while doing Bray's fireflies thing, during Punk vs Cena?

2 minutes ago, C.S. said:

I can handle GUNTHER vs. Goldberg as a throwaway main event for Saturday Night's Main Event as long as GUNTHER wins and Goldberg retires on a good note. I see no harm in it. Anything more than that, though...  

I grow more and more convinced that absolutely no-one shares my views on wrestling 

Which is odd, because they're very sensible views...

I'm not exactly excited for the match, but my standards are much lower for something main eventing a regular TV show. Not like this is a major PPV PLE. I mean this is the same show where we got Hulk Hogan vs. The Genius.

"Cena smells blood"

Must be on Punk's chin from that blood money covered dick.

I really want Miz to interfere and cost Punk the match, but that will never happen.  

Triple Big Nose clearly doesn't see the value in Miz that Vince did. Oh well...

I obviously am not watching this particular shit, but just wanted to say it's 10pm and it's still 29° outside (try 84 or so of your bizarre degrees). And it is only the beginning of a 3 days heatwave from hell. I'm going to fucking die. And that's already the THIRD one. IN JUNE. FUCK.

Anywoo. I read the results. Some hilarious shit apparently.

Also, apparently John "I can say how much I still love Vince in Mandarin if you want" Cena vs CM (C is for Cuck) Punk (bwahahaha) had a 26 minutes atrocity of a match. Interesting how eons ago they had the "first" Self-Conscious Epic (a concept that I have since refuted; plus it was really not about the match at all, I just woke up grumpy and all) and now they just had a Self-Conscious Epic Fail it seems.

I would watch some CMLL, but the heat is melting my brain.

Bye bye dignity, we hardly knew ya...

32 minutes ago, El-P said:

And it is only the beginning of a 3 days heatwave from hell.

Is it a draw the blinds, shut all the doors and windows heat, or open the doors and windows to try and get a breeze through heat?

Once the heat gets into your place, is it hard to get it out? I have concrete walls, so once the heat gets in it fucking stays.

10 minutes ago, Dav'oh said:

Is it a draw the blinds, shut all the doors and windows heat, or open the doors and windows to try and get a breeze through heat?

Once the heat gets into your place, is it hard to get it out? I have concrete walls, so once the heat gets in it fucking stays.

It's now 11pm, still 28° outside but I opened everything now, because otherwise it's just immobile hot air in the house and it's getting unbearable. During the day yeah, it's everything closed. It's only gonna get worse in the three days to come, which is... I guess only live during the night hours until about 7-8 am. 

I don't understand your fancy celsius, but it's been 90 or above of our bizarre degrees every day here for like 2 weeks. So it's been draw the blinds, shut all the doors and windows, and dread the electric bill cause the AC hasn't shut off in days hot around here. 

22 minutes ago, Blehschmidt said:

I don't understand your fancy celsius, but it's been 90 or above of our bizarre degrees every day here for like 2 weeks. 

There's nothing fancy about Celsius. At 0°, water turns into ice. At 100°, water boils and turns into vapor. IT MAKES SENSE ! Fahrenheit is like temperatures booked by Vince Russo ! "Bro, water becomes ice at 32 degrees." Why the fuck 32 ??? "Nobody expects it. It's a swerve, bro."

The temperature in the day actually doesn't matter as much. It's the night that does. (no AC here)

Ok, off to watching CMLL.

8 minutes ago, El-P said:

There's nothing fancy about Celsius. At 0°, water turns into ice. At 100°, water boils and turns into vapor. IT MAKES SENSE ! Fahrenheit is like temperatures booked by Vince Russo ! "Bro, water becomes ice at 32 degrees." Why the fuck 32 ??? "Nobody expects it. It's a swerve, bro."

You're French, bro. You can't get over, bro. Neither can your temperature scale, bro.

- Vince Russo, probably