I'm downloading the best of Raven in ECW, watching a Friday the 13th marathon and in the middle of a thunderstorm. Today is a good day.

 

A lot of people forget that Jason Vorhees wasn't even the killer in the original Friday the 13th. In Friday the 13th part 2, he didn't even have the hockey mask. He didn't really hit it big until part 3. That's when things started to get out of hand.

 

Nothing is funnier than watching Jason tie someone up in a sleeping bag and slap them against a tree.

You're strange.

 

I don't know why I wasted my time saying that since truly strange people take that as a compliment. Which only proves my point.

Oh, I love watchin' me some bad horror movies. I've seen a lot of movies that most people wouldn't be able to make it all the way through:[li]Axe'Em (no doubt in my mind, this is the worst movie ever made)[/li][li]The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (I think this was supposed to be a parody that somehow related to the original. It was awful)[/li][li]Uncle Sam[/li][li]Demonicus (I laughed all the way through this bomb)[/li][li]Dead Pit[/li][li]Demons at the Door (ICP on the soundtrack. 'Nuff said)[/li]

I've sat through a lot of shit. Other movies, like Blood Hook, Hack-O-Lantern, Camp Blood 2, Bloody Murder, etc. didn't make the list above simply because they were bad movies that were better than the other bad movies. Some of these titles make Troma movies look like Oscar contenders.

"But most of all, we'd like to thank our fans for this award. And *this has nothing to do with Michael Jackson*!"

Bad horror (which is most horror, IMO) is only good to watch if you can make smartass comments during it. I had to watch this piece of shit movie last night called House, and I only made it through because I started making sarcastic remarks about everything that was going on, even though everyone else was enjoying it.

I love House! Bull, from Night Court, is the zombie badguy that died in Vietnam, right? "You're pissing me off, Roger!"

 

Oh shit, that movie is hilarious. Fuckin' Norm from Cheers is the next door neighbor. C'mon, dude, the little kid was playing with He-Man toys! He had Buzz-Off! Plus I love the soundtrack.

 

You think that's bad, you should watch House 2!

 

The best is when horror movies get so bad that they have to go to space. Jason went to space. Pinhead from Hellraiser went to space. Oh man, there's a lot.

 

Outside of the traveling to space, there's some other things to lookout for too. Such as going to the "hood" or time travel.

 

The Sci-Fi Channel is a good source for bad movies. I've seen Skeeter, Pinata: Survival Island, Mansquito, C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the C.H.U.D. and a whole slew of other awful movies on that channel. Good times.

Well, the option to see the sequel is here since I did get the VHS two-pack for my girlfriend (upon her insistence, of course), but no way am I watching it. Norm was the only plus of the movie for me.

All you need to know about House 2 is that instead of Norm from Cheers, they get Cliff. Also, they find portals to other realms in the House and they end up feuding with a zombie cowboy.

 

Cliff is a handmany/adventurer. That shits comedy. They have more "bad" animals in that movie than Gremlins 2.

 

Good times.

 

Royal Dano plays "Gramps" whom is like 700 years old. He was also in Killer Clowns from Outerspace & Ghoulies 2 if that tells you anything.

Yeah, she said she didn't like it as much because they made the second one a comedy (although I don't know how you can't consider the first one to be one, too).

Those movies are the best when you just get a gaggle of friends to come over and watch them as a way to kill time and fuck around.

 

That's what my friends and I used to do. We had a "bad movie night" where we'd all get together and just watch some awful shit only to clown on it and try to compare the trash. Some recent titles include the above mentioned Demons at the Door and Monster Man...complete with the hot chick quoting Yoda instead of getting naked during the sex scene.

 

Many of humourous moments ensued. I'll never forget the look on my friend Wes' face when the title for Dead Pit came on the screen. He looked at me and said "Coffey, I can't take it." then ejected the movie. We all laughed for a good ten minutes.

 

We had to re-rent Dead Pit so that we could watch it at a later date. HAHA! It wasn't that back when it followed Razorback, which sucked our will to live.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (I think this was supposed to be a parody that somehow related to the original. It was awful)

I saw this a while back; I'm sure it was a straight-to-video thing. I was surprised considering it had Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger in it. I think it was one of those things that had been shelved and the studio decided to put it out once those two became "names."

 

Bad horror (which is most horror, IMO) is only good to watch if you can make smartass comments during it.

It's not a horror movie but we did this Friday with THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, a great movie but if you've seen it over forty times like me and the people that were watching it, it's very easy to make fun of and poke holes in. Hey, it's the Bible, what else are you gonna do, take it seriously???